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The Weekly Binge: Prison Playbook - Episodes 5 - 6
Welcome to the second Weekly Binge Discussion of Prison Playbook episodes 5 - 6. On Thursday, we will discuss episodes 7 - 8 of the drama. Short but sweet today with photos from the script readings and a few behind-the-scenes photos. It was nice to look back and see the whole group from the Detention Center together now that we've moved on from those first two episodes (yay no spoilers!) and this article had all of them in their individual glory, including the bromantic stars (featuring floral caps matched with denim jackets) and Sung Dong-il wearing all the Nike apparel. Some more cast photos showcasing match-ups of brothers, Jailbird (I miss him already) and Jung Kyung-ho's head perpetually being on Park Hae-so's shoulder. And, in case you were someone waiting for all the Krystal behind-the-scenes (you know you're out there), I've got you covered - here are some of the school and movie BTS shots. SCHEDULE: The upcoming schedule is as follows:
Date of Discussion:
Episodes being discussed:
Thu, Sep 17th
Prison Playbook 7 - 8
Sun, Sep 20th
Prison Playbook 9 - 10
Thu, Sep 24th
Prison Playbook 11 - 12 + Nominations
Sun, Sep 27th
Prison Playbook 13 - 14 + Voting
Thu, Oct 1st
Prison Playbook 15 - 16
WEEKLY BINGE GUIDELINES: Anyone is welcome to join the Weekly Binge. Every week we host two discussions (Thursday/Sunday) in which we discuss approximately three hours/two episodes of a selected drama (only two episodes for Prison Playbook due to their 90 min runtime), in total approximately 6 hours/4 episodes per week. We are all from different time zones so there is no need to panic about being late to the party (we do operate on KST as a standard). Within the frame of the two episodes, you may discuss anything you can think of. Whether it is a one-off post to say you were once sent to prison for kidnapping your favourite kdrama actor, episodic notes, essays on how you have now attained bromance status with your postman as your only connection with the outside world this year, rants about the importance of watching kdramas to pass the time, haikus about screaming out your frustration in a congregation or not trusting the people you are isolating with or even your favourite recipe for quarantined prison wine, the choice is yours. If you have previously completed the drama, or, got ahead on the binge please be courteous of those who are watching the drama for the first time. When in doubt spoiler tags are your friend. When we get close to the end of a drama we open up nominations (third last post) for a new drama, those dramas are then short listed by regular members of the Weekly Binge before we open up voting to members of KDRAMA (second last post). Every time we have a new restriction for the type of drama, so that we will not repeat the same type of drama over and over, and so that the Binge will be attractive for different people with different tastes. Please only vote on drama selection if you plan on joining in watching and discussing the chosen drama with us. Yes, you may love said drama and want us to watch, but, there are other ways to express that love, i.e. posting a review to KDRAMA that will convince others to watch it.
2020.09.10 22:47 thelightofmorningBallad of the Bare-Faced Bludger Part #6: Days of the Flying Monkey
TW: financial abuse, child abuse, ableism, emotional abuse, mentions of criminal activities, sex work and drugs YouTubers, go bludge off someone else's work because my stories aren't available for your monetary gain. For those not following me or new to my story, my family are Stolen Generations Australian Aboriginal and the poster child for intergenerational trauma. That being said, my nanna was a pill popper and my mother graduated to outright junkie, and both of them were shit human beings. Bare-Faced Bludger, or BFB for short, was the kind of woman who made flying monkeys of anyone she could get her mitts on. Sadly, from about the ages of 18-26, that was usually me or one of her friends. After her third marriage died officially when I was 14 after two years of her being strung along by her ex-husband, BFB got back into the dating game for a few years, going out with the brother of a national celebrity, having an affair with a married local Z-List celebrity and having a two year relationship with a literal heroin addict. By the time I'd reached 20, she was picking up blokes at the local nightclubs alongside one of her fellow phone sex workers and on occasion, having threesomes with this woman and said blokes. It made for some interestingly awkward moments if I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning by them talking and came out to see what was going on. Finally, around my mid-twenties, health issues exacerbated by her drug use killed her party life and so she became pen pals with a jailbird. He was with her until about six months out of jail, when BFB proved too batshit even for his tastes (and he had a truly psycho ex-wife) and so he kinda broke up with her. Instead of being mature and speaking to him, she made me carry the goddamn messages. Have you ever spoken to your mother's ex, agreeing with him as she hung around eavesdropping, and then had to tell him whatever she'd ordered you to say? Let me tell you, it sucks, and to this day I refuse to carry messages for anyone. It wasn't just her love life. I'd bitch and moan with her two main friends about her and then, when said friends had a fight with her, they'd throw what I said into her face. Ever been woken up by your mum after she's had a smoking session and shitfight and they've relayed what I've said about her, so she needs to have it out with you? FUN. Being the flying monkey sucks, Don't do it.
2020.08.29 01:20 EricaShmericaOFFEpisode 6 Recap...its almost game time!
So excited for Lal tonight!! Here's last week's recap! Love After Lockup, episode 6 John & Kristiana: John met up with his new mother in law (who only learned 5 minutes before that she was someone’s mother in law) at a diner, to enjoy two giant plates of brown glop that looked strangely enticing. John really put all of his cards on the table, being very forthcoming about his criminal record, overdrawn bank accounts, and the inability to remember the number of children he has. Kristiana’s mother isn’t sold on the new couple just yet, but instead would like to see them together in matching fringe outfits to be able to judge for herself. Jessica & Maurice: The couple hit up a restaurant (with an instagram model waitress) for dinner, with Jessica seeming annoyed with Maurice. She’s feeling isolated, left out, and worried about her husband staying out of trouble. That being said, Maurice is ready to break parole 5 minutes in, to head to Las Vegas to see his mother even though he explained that he is on his last strike before he gets into major trouble and ends up back in prison for a long time. He claims to be willing to take the risk and tries to guilt Jessica into being his accomplice. Jessica knows this is a bad idea, but being that she seems completely out of it, she follows his lead. They make it right up to the last exit before the Nevada state line, where they left us with a cliffhanger- will she turn off and go back? Or will she air and abet? Also, Compton Crip (because I didn’t get to say it once in this recap). Shawn & Destinee: The stand-out couple are on their way to Las Vegas where Shawn recently got a new house for his newly released love. Destinee is set on going out on the town, while Shawn is more concerned that she might get in trouble, due to her drinking. (I’m guessing the house was a rental or an AirBNB because I have a hard time believing that decor was Shawn’s style. He looks more like a wood paneling guy than a white subway tile kind of guy). Shawn’s friend Hector and his wife came over for dinner for their “Date with Destinee”. Veronica, Hector’s wife, is weirded out by Shawn’s prison dating habit and definitely put off by Destinee. The double date moved to a bar on the strip, where Destinee asked for the strongest drink that the bartender could make as she played video poker at the bar with her hot dog in hand. Veronica had to go and ask Destinee “what was the craziest thing you’ve seen in prison”, with the unexpected answer that she had seen someone fornicate with a curling iron….that was turned on (This was upsetting to hear both on a human level and as a hair care professional…) Veronica seemed successfully scarred for life, as Destinee continued to scare the crap out of everyone. Tyrice & Chanda Tyrice was waiting in his best blue suit with his binoculars at the wrong location! He got the intel on the correct release spot and used his blue shoes to step on the gas and high tail it over. Chanda was waiting for him with her freshly braided cornrows and purple eyeshadow. Chanda was kind of bewildered by the blue suit, not sure if she should be impressed or scared to see what he had picked out for her to wear in the rolling suitcase. She put on her furry armed biker jacket and some capri pants, and Tyrice was enjoying the view from behind. (It must be noted that Chanda’s look during her interview made her look at least 10 years older, but in the best way possible. She went from looking like a 90s fly girl to a substitute teacher in no time flat). She explained her excitement in meeting someone with a good heart, like Tyrice, as the couple stopped for some fried chicken on the way to the halfway house. Chanda talked about her rough upbringing and struggle with substance abuse. She also divulged to the camera that there were a few other guys she was talking to in prison who she used, and is still “friends with”. Not sure how this will sit with Tyrice, but he seems to be more concerned with that hing Chanda is sitting on than anything else…. Quaylon & Shavel: Things look like so far so good after the couple’s first magical evening together. It sounds like the rose petals really set the mood for a romantic rendezvous at the Best Western, and I hope they tipped the cleaning lady well. Shavel pulls up her house to officially introduce Quaylon to her daughter and mother. Shavel’s mother, Sylvia, is sporting her signature metallic gold lipstick as she interrogates Quaylon about his intentions with her daughter and granddaughter. Quaylon explains that he is taking things slow, as he was just released after a 12 year sentence, but is hoping to be with Shavel for good. I wasn’t totally sold on his explanation, and neither were they, but everyone i just letting it slide for now. Noticeably missing were Scott and Lindsay…. (Well, Lindsay has always been missing and Scott was probably off getting an epipen in his lip). Looks like this week he will return, TOPLESS, still on hold with the prison to figure out what happened to his jailbird.
2020.07.28 22:15 HarleyKWenA Look at the New Series of Summer 2020 from the Perspective of a Harlequin
It’s the last week of July, and I can’t help but feel I should review some of the new series this season. I won’t say that I’ve watched all of them as I might not have heard all of them, and I’m sure there are those who are more than willing to tell me that I missed a few series, if I were to make such a bold claim. Something else I should note is how I treat the grading scale. 7/10 is not an average, but a show I feel anyone can watch by themselves without a second thought. Nothing fantastic, but overall passable. 5/10 is where I would mark an average. The idea that I know there’s an audience, the audience just isn’t me. Ratings below 5 are series I have dropped at the fourth episode or beforehand or see a serious problem with. I will admit that some preferential bias may be involved due to preferring some genres over others, but I am doing my best to be as objective as possible. Now, let’s begin.
The God of Highschool
The premise is simple, when you first look at it. An organized tournament where high school students from all across Korea come together in order to compete with various martial arts and other weapons in order to achieve the title “The God of Highschool” and win the prize of any one wish they desire. As is all too familiar, however, whenever a wish is promised, there’s a dark force at work which may threaten the very peace of the world as it turns out there’s a shadow organization behind the tournament with political pursuits. This is made evident, when a convict is released as a competitor in the qualifying round of the Seoul regionals of the tournament. Thankfully, Jin Mo-ri is there to fight for his principles and handles the jailbird handily in order to save a more innocent martial artist. While virtuous, though, one might argue that Jin Mo-ri has a few too many virtues. Not in the sense of righteous convictions but that he seems to be the only one anyone has their eyes on. From Park Mu-Jin, the organizer of the tournament who seems to only have eyes for Mo-ri, to Dae-wi and Mi-ra, two local students who find themselves roped into Mo-ri’s group of friends, there’s no denying that Jin is the main character. Yet, I can’t help but feel that, for a fighting tournament anime, the fighting seems to take a great deal of a backseat. MAPPA is providing beautiful and active animation, but most fights last scarcely more than one attack, once the main characters start getting serious at all, and nothing truly seems to hold weight even with the main characters’ motivations set out. Granted, Jin Mo-ri’s motivation is the thrill of the fight. A desire to fight stronger and stronger opponents in an honorable battle for the fun that comes with fighting… and not much else. He gets irritable when anyone shows an interest in something that isn’t fighting or food, and he hasn’t had a proper fight since the opening squabble as he first interrupted a fight then dealt with a penalty game against one of the commissioners. As a result, he hasn’t gotten a proper one-on-one fight to display his talents other than that he can overwhelm anyone who gets in the ring with him. Yu Mi-ra’s motivation is to find a suitable husband to be both student and heir to her father’s Moonlight Sword style of kumdo (Korean sword fighting). She cements her friendship with Mo-ri and Dae-wi by searching for her wooden sword after she dropped it into the river, only to then admit she doesn’t actually use it in the Moonlight Sword style in her first battle and shrug off getting it back after losing it in her failed marriage. While not a terrible character, her character development tends to feel like a constant “one step forward two steps back” as whenever she gets a moment to prove her worth, that worth is thrown out the next scene, in particular in her most recent fight with… Han Dae-wi, a practitioner of karate who is always working multiple part-time jobs in order to help pay for his terminally ill friend’s medicine. He gets bullied for his benevolent gesture by local thugs and is friends with Mo-ri because… because Mo-ri said so, I guess. His battle with Mi-ra truly makes the point of how hollow the friendship is other than shonen anime having to have a trio of protagonists. He guts her like a fish because his official friend is near dead, and he’s desperate. He’s the only one taking the tournament as a serious means to an end instead of a game. At the same time, Mi-ra and Dae-wi’s prior fights were curb stomps with little more explanation than “this isn’t even my true power”, despite appearing overwhelmed. I know it sounds like I’m being unfairly critical of the series, but I’m merely discussing what I’m seeing on screen. It hurts. It genuinely hurts to discuss the anime so cynically, as I’m well aware this is a well-loved webtoon or online novel with a lot of love put into it by the author. At the same time, I can’t see all the love the author put into the writing, when what should be a full episode or two episode battles and events are relegated to having barely seven minutes of screentime. I’ve been informed that the thirteen episode season is supposed to be the first 113 chapters of the manhwa, and I can’t help but gape. What should be Korea’s major strike into the Japanese anime market isn’t getting it’s due, and it can be felt with the character development. I understand there are those who will say that it’s an awesome action series, and I feel like I want to love it. It’s just empty to me. I want to love the characters, not be told that I should love the characters because they’re “awesome”. Even if the season had simply been expanded to 26 episodes, so the screenplay can help me to appreciate the characters as they should be rather than the quick mock-ups that they are, I could feel something. As it stands, I’m dropping the series. I want to note, this is not a review of the manhwa. The anime should be able to stand alone without me knowing the source material, and I do plan on reading it to pay the author proper respect. I hope those who enjoy the series as it stands get everything they want from it.
The Misfit of Demon Academy
Again, the premise is simple. An all-powerful demon king from the ancient times is reincarnated 2,000 years after his passing. He has retained full power and can use magics that have been forgotten to time. The problem is that he has also been forgotten to time. Or rather, a mysterious rival has replaced him in time. In regards to this series, I feel its biggest problem is pacing. It has a good mystery to it, but it’s distracted by trying to prove how overpowered Anos Voldigoad is for the sake of what I can presume is comedy. Why I say “presume” is that a great deal of the jokes take just a little too long for the laughs to properly stick. An issue with timing rather than the jokes not being funny unto themselves. His parents in this life are an absolute delight, after all, with their humor and positive nature. The other pacing issue is that Anos has placed most of his time and care into two twin girls at his new school. Neither has a particularly outstanding character. A textbook example of a tsundere and kuudere, but I feel unless the viewer is invested in their story as soon as Misha is relevant, Misha and Sasha’s plotline can feel like it drags the series down and distracts from the intrigue of the mystery as to how and why the all-powerful Anos was replaced in time. After all, there aren’t truly any stakes for Anos losing his reputation as founding father besides Anos attempting to reclaim his birthright. There’s no impending war that the demons need to prepare for with their lackluster magic. The Avos who replaced Anos does not appear to have a headhunter after Anos. At least, none that have been established thus far in the series. The rules of magic are also not that well-established. No, that’s not right. Rather, Anos is quick to explain how magic works in their world only to then ignore the rules. While the point is that he is all-powerful and his character is a personification of being overpowered, it takes away the stakes once again. If he can just ignore the rules of magic he set in place, then what does the audience have to invest in? He can resurrect whomever he chooses, regardless of circumstance. Thus, character death will mean nothing until a character is permanently gone. Takes away from the intrigue. Nevertheless, I want to see where the mystery goes, at least, but I may lose that compulsion, if the series continues to be distracted by female characters that do not properly contribute to the plot.
Finally, a series I can be a bit more positive with. I believe I am far and away not the only person to believe that the series might be boring after watching the first episode. Once the second episode hit all I can say is: “You thought it was ‘Shingeki no Kyojin’, but it was me, ‘Kaiba’.” Or I suppose “Space Dandy” would be a more appropriate joke for those unfamiliar with the abstract nature of “Kaiba”. Regardless, the human race has been reduced to little more than NPCs for a video game for the rest of the world that has evolved into cyborg-androids to adapt to a resourceless world. The one resource that fuels everything is Oxyone, the soda-like blood of the monstrous Gadoll that seems to have replaced all water and nutrients for humans and cyborgs alike. The cyborgs use the human continent as a personal video game to harvest Oxyone. They use avatars known as Gears to help humans keep the Gadolls in check while avoiding personal risk, as long as they follow the rules. There is a system named Hugin in place that eliminates problem cyborgs, and in turn, there are cyborgs in place that eliminate “bugs” from the Deca-dence “server”. Kaburagi is a cyborg who is employed by Hugin to eliminate “bugs” in order to atone for past mistakes. However, Kaburagi finds himself in quite the pickle as he grows fond of both a human and a Godoll that are categorized as “bugs” and can’t bring himself to eliminate them. With intrigue and mystery in good doses alongside action and humor, I would say this is a series that is the must-watch of the season. What happens next? Will Natsume grow to unite the earth again alongside Kaburagi? Or is Hugin only the bottom rung of a series of threats keeping the world in a false sense of “order”? Only time will tell.
Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out
Uzaki-chan is a sophomore in college who works to keep her old highschool sempai Sakurai company after he made himself a loner in college. By being both a pest and a genuine friend, she frustrates Sakurai as he can’t seem to get rid of her. Of course, while it’s obvious they’re a couple to everyone else, they just can’t see it because they see each other as boorish. This series isn’t truly anything special, but it is cute. It’s the perfect sort of junk food anime. Something where you know you could watch something better, but you can’t convince yourself to turn it off, so you make popcorn, instant ramen, or whatever frozen microwave food you’ve got to just sit down and have a good time with characters who just make you feel good.
If you can recall “Uma Musume”, “Akiba’s Trip: the Animation”, “Love Kome”, and “Zombieland Saga”, this is the newest novelty idol anime on the block. Tiara is a young princess who finds herself attending a magical academy alongside her childhood friend Rosetta. However, she learns she is part of a Lapis group of girls, “Lapis” being the students on the bottom of the pecking order due to their low point scores per campus rules, and Tiara has to help her new friends earn points or risk being expelled at the end of the semester. What I can appreciate about this series is that it sets proper stakes early on, so it’s not just cute girls doing cute things. It’s cute girls doing cute things in order to achieve a goal: don’t flunk out of school. This will include learning new spells, helping folks both on and off campus, and learning the power of music and magic. Let the shenanigans begin! True, I’d probably recommend other idol series before this series. It even has a few Japanese jokes that might not be appropriate for the American 8- to 14-year-old demographic, so I can’t quite recommend it in general, but it still has its charms.
I want to preface this next section with the note that I am not above what might be called “trash harem anime”. I would easily score “Noucome”, “When Her Flag Breaks”, “Armed Girls Machiavellism”, “Rosario+Vampire”, “Maburaho”, “My First Girlfriend is a Gal”, “Nyan Koi”, “Sekirei”, and many others a 6/10 or higher if only for entertainment, comedic, or ironic value. This is not the season for promising harems.
Monster Girl Doctor
So, pretty straightforward. There is a human doctor who works on monster girls. He lives in the first Monster x Human city in his world, so he is important in building up Monster x Human relations with his talents. If it was just that, and the fanservice was cute akin to “Interviews with Monster Girls”, I’d probably just call this a 7/10, you’ll know if you like it or not series and just move on. However, it’s not just cute and simple. If everything was just as simple as the first episode, where it’s a centaur who is hesitant to get horseshoes because she’s afraid of having nails hammered into her hooves, fine. The problem stems from this being an ecchi series, and she finds the act of having the horseshoes installed arousing… and the mermaid finds it arousing to have her blistered and sore throat and gills toyed with… and the flesh golem finds it arousing to have her skin swabbed out with alcohol and her arteries sutured… and you see what the problem might be? While one might argue that “Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou” had a bit too much groping and fanservice, this is literally including ecchi elements just to say it has ecchi elements. It doesn’t help when “Monster Girl Doctor” seems to be following a similar monster girl quota to “Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou”, including having the primary heroine be a lamia snake-woman. Comparisons are going to be constant. While I admit that it has the appeal of seeing new creature designs like any monster girls series, it’s difficult to say that the actual interactions are worth anything. Thus, while I might continue it out of morbid curiosity, overall it’s not that interesting. I’m sure it’ll probably do something in episode 11 or 12 to make doubters eat their words and set up for a more exciting second season, but that is speculation at best. It just is more awkward than sexy with character design being more appealing than the character writing.
Dokyuu Hentai HxEros
It’s a team of perverted rangers who are going to save the lusty Japanese youth from the terrible Kiseichuu who want to consume all the lust energy and decrease the Japanese birth rate even more… or they just want to censor sexy clothes by lengthening skirts? Steal girls’ panties because it’s funny, maybe? This is the first of many problems I have with this series. Well, second. First is how almost every comment I see regarding this show is people complaining that it’s censored for public consumption. The second problem I have is just the show’s awkward sense of focus. I don’t have a reason to believe that there are stakes, if the villains don’t seem to know what their own motivation is. True, the “censor bugs”, as Kiseichuu translates to literally, are just a catch-all form for trying to take sexy elements out of the Japanese public eye, but how does stealing panties contribute to making Japanese youth less sex driven, if they don’t replace them with granny panties? It just leaves a bunch of girls walking around without panties, which seems like it would spike sexual thoughts rather than remove them… Then there are the heroes themselves. Retto and Kirara are arguably the only two that matter as they were childhood friends who drifted apart after a Kiseichuu proved that Kirara was sexually excitable even from holding hands as a young child. Rather than just admitting that Retto makes her excited and taking advantage of it as they grew up, she decided to be a stock man-hating tsundere to hide her shame while Retto is employed by his uncle to be the captain of the HEROs, because ecchi = H and erotic = ERO, so I guess Mineta Minoru is the best example of a hero in “Boku no Hero Academia” by that logic. Jokes aside, Retto is part of the team due to his potential for erotic energy to weaponize it against Kiseichuu with the help of special gear. Thing is, it’s not well-explained why Retto qualifies other than that he does. At least with Jin Mo-ri and friends, I could say that they walloped their opponents in a fight with their own hands and speed. With Retto and his teammates, it’s not like we’re seeing everyone go through an ERO-energy measuring test or anything like that. If anything, it’s weird that they’re keeping it as secretive as they are from other highschool students. One thing to say not everyone qualifies, but why not try out everyone that they can? What are the qualifications? How much energy is needed for an attack? Can a drained person have their sex drive restored, are they forever drained, or does it just build naturally? The big issue with not establishing rules is that Maihime, Momoka, and Sora are already part of the team but have not contributed to any Kiseichuu battle in a meaningful manner because Kirara being the infinity+1 sword of lust is the series running joke, and the other girls are there because “LOL harem anime antics”. “Conception”, “Dororon Enma-kun”, “Maken Ki”, “Mahou Sensei Negima”, there are a wide variety of series that cover ‘supernatural combat meets perverted shenanigans’ with greater writing quality and character development. Still, unlike “The God of Highschool”, where I can argue that it’s a good story that has been abridged to leave all the good parts out, I feel there were better approaches to this series. Here is some words of advice, if anyone wants to try to make a series like this:
The team members of HxEROS are Red, Pink, Yellow, Blue, and White. This harkens to the idea that it is based on a sentai series, but it’s not self-aware enough. If they wanted to go with the color scheme, it should have been a team of horny young men with the joke being that Kirara was the first female member with the guys all surprised that a girl is a bigger pervert than them, and her man-hating nature is more justified despite being childhood friends with Retto.
If the author wanted to go with an all-female team save for Retto, there should have been five girls, and it should have played out like “Noucome” or “Armed Girls Machiavellism” where Retto and his uncle want to recruit the local highschool’s ‘fetish five’ to be a part of the team, being Saint Chichi (boobs), Saint Shiri (butt and thighs), Saint Megane (glasses and eyes/eye licking), Saint Christmas Cake (mature woman), and Saint Legal Loli (little girl) or ideas to that effect. The first half of the series would be Retto recruiting the ‘fetish five’ while fighting to defend students by himself and only by unlocking his true ERO potential with the girls by his side can he actually slay members of the Kiseichuu alliance.
Or how about throwing the sentai angle out? If anything, the Kiseichuu are fun designs. Don’t make them censor bugs and just go full Nyuuchuu (boobie bugs) with them. Why not try to pull an anime variant of “Earth Girls Are Easy” where a team of bug alien princesses go to earth to hook up with guys as the cat race, the rat race, the lizard race, the bird race, and even the octopus race have had success on Earth. Thing is, while the Nyuuchuu have the biggest breasts and best bodies in the Milky Way, they didn’t take into consideration that the other races have an effectively humanoid head while they all have anatomically correct bug heads. Thus begins the Nyuuchuus’ campaign of learning how to seduce earth boys by observing local couples.
The base template is there. It just feels like the author put all their creativity into the idea of Ecchi (H) + lust (EROS) = HEROS and then relied on stock plot elements from there. It’s not even the correct spelling of ‘heroes’. I can’t really fault anyone for watching it, but there are definitely better series to spend your time with. I dropped it at episode 3.
Kazuya is a college student who was recently dumped by his girlfriend. He uses a rental girlfriend service to try to nurture his wounded pride and broken heart. He gets mad when he learns that Chizuru, the girl he rented for the day, uses the same routine with every date, and he leaves her a one star review because he feels scorned. Still, he rents her again, and he tries to confront her about the falseness of her behavior only to have her remind him that of course the service is an act as that’s the point of a rental girlfriend. Kazuya apologizes. Now, does the story go with:
Kazuya tries to make a concerted effort to act as an adult and admit his romantic troubles to Chizuru as they bond over prior failed relationships for the rest of the day?
Chizuru realizes that Kazuya is hurt, and that she might have been spoiled by constant 5-star reviews that she has failed to care about the customer’s feelings, so she uses Kazuya in her off time to experiment with different date formulas, so she doesn’t stagnate with love blossoming from their developed chemistry?
Kazuya admits that Chizuru might just not be his type but does his best to make the rest of the date enjoyable for her. He goes onto a dating site the next day where he accidentally hooks up with Chizuru again?
Kazuya and Chizuru are caught up in a family incident where their feelings don’t matter and they have to lie about being a couple to preserve the feelings of the family members?
If you said "4", that’s exactly why I dropped this series halfway through the first episode. That is the wrong route to take with this story, especially as it was Kazuya’s family. At least if it was Chizuru’s parents, Kazuya would be acting as the cover story to hide Chizuru’s career with compensated dating. As it is just a matter of Kazuya’s grandmother wanting to live long enough to see great-grandchildren, you don’t need to be watching a season of anime for that plotline. Go watch a Hallmark channel movie. Go watch a Christmas rom-com with the liar revealed trope. Get your fix in 90 minutes, not 5 hours. It’s not as if the series lacked stakes. Kazuya has a budget of a million yen that his grandfather will not contribute any further to. It could have been as simple as Chizuru making Kazuya sign up as a rental boyfriend to see that it’s not all roses and handholding but a serious career as the boy finds his funds lacking after his failed relationship. It could have been something as simple as Kazuya’s college girlfriend tricking Kazuya into using the service as she wanted to be sure that her boyfriend is truly desirable or she just has an NTR kink and gets more excited to kiss him whenever she sees him kissing another girl. And this is the problem with this series. I can suggest so many alternate routes that only change the plot just slightly and it makes for a more unique series. It could have been a unique series as it stands, if they hadn’t gotten Kazuya’s parents and grandmother involved. So many options and opportunities. This is about the anime equivalent to saying the idiom “threw the baby out with the bathwater”. The fact that most testimonies I received boil down to an ironic enjoyment as none of the characters truly grow or develop just makes a point of the failed premise.
Peter Grill and the Philosopher’s Time
No, I’m not joking. I’m not even wasting the time to watch a single episode of this anime because I know the source material is trash. Like, not cute trashy anime trash. Just trash. Nothing redeemable. Not even the character designs. Basic synopsis is this: Peter Grill has just proven himself the strongest man in the world, and royalty of all races want to have his babies. Thing is, he only loves his childhood sweetheart Luvelia Sanctus who promised to marry him if he won the tournament. Luvelia’s father, Peter’s guild master, is something of a daughter-con who keeps trying to trick Peter into a situation where he can be executed or must break off his engagement with Luvelia. The idea doesn’t sound that terrible. It’d just be “Rosario+Vampire” if Moka's father was aware of Tsukune playing with his daughter early on, right? If that was the case, then fine. But no. No one is likable in this series. It’s not just a case of Peter not being likable because he is knowingly cheating on Luvelia. Every monster girl is raping Peter, even when he doesn’t want to have sex or is in a situation where he shouldn’t be having sex, they are forcing themselves onto him. Vegan, the elf, even curses him to be effectively castrated if he doesn’t have sex with her within 24 hours. It’s not a matter of him cheating on Luvelia. It’s a matter that he’s a sex toy for the entire world but Luvelia. And it’s not like Luvelia is truly innocent of the matter. Rather, as a result of her innocence and not seeming to know what sex is, she’s almost encouraging the other girls to take advantage of Peter, even if it would mean the death of Peter if her father ever found out. Except for the fact that Luvelia probably would be accepting of a polyamorous relationship if her father hadn’t kept her in the dark for so long. It feels like the author went out of their way to make the characters unlikable. They could have had a funny story, if they just didn’t make everyone in the story either mean-spirited, mindlessly selfish, or both. Well, I guess Peter doesn’t fall into those categories, but only because he needs to be the straight man to everyone else’s cruelty, but he’s still framed as supposedly selfish because he keeps letting everyone take advantage of him, by his own admittance. If you’re that desperate to be sexually aroused by monster girls, go watch “Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou” or “Ishuzoku Reviewers”. At least something where sexuality is portrayed positively. Don’t get suckered into this callousness. Just wait until “Elf Can’t on a Diet” gets an anime or go read its manga, if you need new monster girls. Even “Monster Girl Doctor” is a better alternative as it’s more awkward than mean-spirited. Just, whatever you do, avoid this series.
So, there are a few series I will try to catch up on and review a little later this week: “Ninja Collection”, “Gibiate”, “Koi to Producer: EVOL x LOVE”. Perhaps a couple more. There is one other series I can’t convince myself to watch, though:
“Kyojinzoku no Hanayome” or “The Titan’s Bride”
I’m not going to be unfair and rate what I don’t watch or haven’t read. This just isn’t the series for me. I’m getting too many “365 Days” or “Fifty Shades of Gray” or other ewie feelings from the synopsis of an individual being confiscated from their home and being made to act in the role of a bride or lover until they learn to love their new life with a seemingly false promise of being returned to their normal life if they’re still resentful at the end of a period. I know those movies/books were popular, but there’s just something that makes me want to take a shower after learning about this series. Anyways, I wish everyone the best with their watching this summer. I’m sure things will be more fun with more options in the fall. Best of luck.
2020.07.16 02:06 Leather_Personality1WIBTA if I had a destination wedding?
First post and on mobile so go easy on me. Background I’ve (21m) been dating the love of my life (20f) for 3 1/2 years. We both are almost done with school and have been discussing marriage. I’ve decided that I will wait till we both have post graduation jobs before I propose. We have been thinking that a destination wedding would be a great idea for the inherently smaller size, and the ability to honeymoon right afterwards. We both have a great relationship with my small family but not a great relationship with her mom. Her parents separated when she was 9 and her dads side is pretty decent to her (us). The issue is with her mom who had full custody during her childhood. Her mother abandoned my gf to go chase her jailbird boyfriend after he got sent to a different state for lack of child support payments to a different family. This has caused her mother (who is already horrible with money and can barely afford to eat) to be extra broke. My gf holds a fair amount of resentment towards her mother for abandoning her. As a side note my gf’s sister who has three children is also bad with money. If we have a destination wedding we would end up paying for her mother and probably sister (and kids) to attend if we wanted them there. I know she wants her niece to be a flower girl and her nephew to be a ring bearer. Even though she doesn’t get along great with her mother she also wants her to be there as not letting/ helping her attend would probably end their relationship. We have decided that they will definitely get an invite but we are still unsure if we’d be able to afford to pay for them. The approximate travel costs would be a flight from salt lake to Hawaii. So WIBTA if I (we) have a destination wedding and don’t pay for them to attend?
2020.06.05 16:49 throwaway131729Fuck it. I’m a big boy. I’ll live and die alone
I grew up with this dumbass belief that there’s someone for everyone then I started dating. To hell with it. My entire dating lafe has been as follows. Catfished, cheated on, pranked and stood up. I’m done. I am sooo fucking done. I had one, only one relationship that was wholesome and worthy. The rest have only served to make me think I am a total piece of shit who does not deserve to be with anyone. One girl cheated on me with a heroin addicted, jailbird, physical abuser and stayed with him no matter what. I still feel bad for her but what the fuck? What am I supposed to think of myself that she left me for that? I’ll probably get called an incel or accuse me of doing some fucked up shit for complaining about my past with women. I don’t care. Suck 1000 lbs of cock per second. I’m done. I don’t plan on ever dating again. I won’t even make the assumption a woman is interested in me ever again. All it ever does is lead to misery. The tipping point for this rant? A very wholesome seeming girl I was chatting with for a week, even got a verifacation photo from her, suddenly up and asks if I would pay $50 for her camshow. Usually it’s easy to tell, this one was not. What sociopath spends a week buttering up a guy just to get $50 fucking dollars? So, as I stated in the beginning, fuck it. I’m done. Living my life alone, there is no way that can be as bad as dealing with all of this bullshit. And I’m going to prove it to myself.
Welcome to the first season of Tom's Survivor! For this first season we are heading out to Vietnam, a country with an ancient history and diverse culture. These 16 Americans coming from different walks of life are competing for $1,000,000 and the title of sole survivor. To do that they must outwit, outplay and outlast their competition.
Derrick has always spent his life caring for others. That's one of the reasons he wanted to become a masseuse: he wanted to make others smile. He plans on going into the game to make others happy, and to show that you don't need to win a lot of challenges or constantly turn on your allies to play a good game.
Gemma, called mostly "Gem", is a not-so-popular but still well-known actress. She loves her work and singing, and is still single, because she is somewhat unfocused and awkward, which worries her for the competition. Still, she is approachable, confident and traditional. She cannot say no because of trust issues to strangers, another detail that can complicate her at times. She says she has what it takes to win, despite being afraid of wild animals and being hurt emotionally during the season.
Gofried is not a physical player but he will use his mental strength to go further in the game, He will also use what he learned when he was studying psychiatric to manipulate all of the other contestants and win this game.
Nastasia is a hotelier extraordinaire, who's micromanaging skills has her giant luxury suites being operated exactly how she wants them to, down to the lowest employee on the totem pole. She is the boss, and she will make sure everyone knows that, or else they're gone. She may be a nepotist, constantly having bias over her eldest son than her actual employees, but she packs a punch, and you wouldn't want to get on her bad side.
Pratyush was a smart kid during school. Bullied due to his race, he decided he needed to fight back. He has always had a talent for finding out things and so he found out secrets. For him, words were stronger than fists. Eventually, he found a job as an intern for a Fortune 500 company, where he still works as of now. Pratyush is ruthless, and knows you need that quality to get far in the world.
Robert 'R2' Reyes, 25, Medical Student ( u/Gemini_B )
R2 was raised by Chinese immigrants. They always had the highest expectations for him, and encouraged him to enter the medical field. His life is very stressful though, as he always worries about not being good enough for his parents dreams. In recent years, his parents have been struggling financially, but refuse to use any money reserved for R2's education. Winning survivor will allow him to continue his schooling and take care of his ageing parents.
Growing up on a farm for basically all her life Skye has always been hard working and worked for the things she wanted, she knew survivor was the perfect thing for her to do because she is very adventurous and has a great personality, she hopes that she can make good social bonds and possibly win the game.
Corinne comes from a very successful and wealthy family but she surprised everyone by dropping out of college to pursue her passion as a costume designer. She hopes to finally break free from the expectations of her family.
El Diablo was raised in Mexico, and constantly got into fights as a kid. In elementary school, he sent the school bully to the hospital, promptly taking his place as the most feared kid on the playground. He graduated high-school barely and got into college for wrestling, but got arrested before college started due to permanently crippling a guy on the street. He went to jail for 15 years and put everyone there in their places too, and upon getting out, he was scouted by a wrestling agency. He now plays the character 'El Diablo' a ruthless wrestler jailbird whose dirty tactics get him compared to the devil. He hopes to play the same character on Survivor, and dominate the challenges.
Surf is your classic surfer who is very broish and thinks he is going to dominate the season in every part.
Gerardo 'Lord of Random' Ellis, Unknown, Unemployed ( u/Nahuelfire39 )
His past is unknown, because of how mysterious and silent he is. Although his real name is Gerardo Ellis, people know him as "Lord of Random", due to the various skills and words that he makes, that is, random. Totally, Lord was in "Domino's Challenge" in season 1 and won, having a perfect and social game with 6 wins overall in challenges.
Smithy has built a somewhat large following on YouTube due to his quirky personality and funny practical jokes. He thinks his personality will help him on Survivor, and in turn hopes that being on Survivor will help build his internet following.
Katrina’s parents were performers in Kentucky. They lived and breathed theatre and expected their daughter to be the same. Though Katrina loved being the centre of attention, and still does, she never loved the stage the way her parents did. Her parents wanted her to continue to pursue something arts related, and she became an advertising adjective, but never felt satisfied. When she learned that Kentucky was looking for jobs in the dental field, she felt it would be a perfect field to enter. She always found teeth interesting, I mean, are they bones? But they fall out? So weird. She returned to school at age 35 and became a Prosthodontist at age 43. She’s worked as a Prosthodontist since then and (While not at the level of Peter) has a firm understanding of the most important hole in the human body, the mouth. While she’s liked by many people because of her fun personality, she has trouble forming 1 on 1 bonds and has never found the special one. As a child she often got in trouble for anger issues with her parents, so she began to hold in her anger and let it out in huge, uncontrollable fits when her parents weren't around. This holding in of anger until she can’t contain it is a habit she continues to have, blaming her rages on “Hurricane Katrina” as a sort of justification of her actions. She’s never left Kentucky and while she’s very book smart, she can often be very ignorant on other subjects.
As soon as Layla graduated high school she moved to NYC for college and has been living there ever since. Her outgoing nature has allowed her to develop a large social circle and when she’s not working to plan fabulous events she is out partying. Her sense of humour is often at the expense of others and she isn’t afraid to throw someone under the bus or gossip behind their back.
Neleh grew up in a small town in the middle of Alabama, and ever since she was young she’s wanted to explore outside of her small town. Unfortunately, Neleh’s family couldn’t afford to send her to college, and her grades were also below average which made attending college harder. Neleh became a police officer, and found love when she met her wife Amanda working as a secretary in the police station. Neleh and Amanda became fast friends, and later dated which her parents disapproved of. Her parents kicked her out and she moved in with Amanda where both started a family. She has two sons, and plans to win the money for them, and provide them opportunities she was never able to have.
The Season: http://brantsteele.net/survivoborneo/r.php?c=aW290Q4H Episode 1: Both tribes are flown to Vietnam to start the journey of a lifetime and potentially win $1,000,000. They slowly introduced themselves and alliances were formed. At Ton Vinh, Derrick got Nastasia, Pratyush and R2 to form a tight alliance whilst Gofried brought Melissa, Skye and Gem in, but Skye and Gem don't completely trust Gofried yet whilst Melissa wanted to stick with Gofried. At Yeu, Layla got Surf and Corinne to form an alliance but they didn't completely trust her. El Diablo notices this and forms a counter-alliance including himself, Lord of Random, Smithy and Katrina. Neleh was in on the alliance but she spilled the beans to the other 3 making El Diablo enemy number 1 for them. At the immunity challenge, Yeu won, sending Ton Vinh to Tribal Council. At Yeu, El Diablo realises Neleh told the other 3 about the alliance so he tries and gets Katrina to influence them to change their mind. She does this to Layla but Layla lies through her teeth and gets away with it. At Ton Vinh, R2 was helping more around camp to show how much he is doing to help the tribe, his tribe appreciates his effort. The two alliances were targeting the weakest player in challenges on the opposite alliance which was Derrick and Gofried. At Tribal Council, the votes were 4-4 between Gofried and Derrick but after Melissa flipped to avoid a tie, Gofried was the first person voted out of Tom's Survivor: Vietnam. Episode 2: At Ton Vinh, the alliances were split 4-3 with Gem, Melissa and Skye in the minority. Yeu won the reward challenge but was unable to win immunity, sending them to Tribal Council. At the Ton Vinh camp, Gem and Derrick bonded over the fact they weren't going to Tribal again. At Yeu, Corinne, Surf and Layla wanted El Diablo gone for creating the counter-alliance against them but they saw Surf as too annoying and wanted him gone to help camp life. Neleh was in the middle, but sided with the minority at Tribal and the vote was 4-4. After a long discussion, Lord of Random flipped sending El Diablo home earlier than he should. Episode 3: After Tribal Council, Neleh explains that she voted El Diablo for playing the game too hard, too early. At reward, Ton Vinh won their second challenge in a row, but Yeu won immunity, sending Ton Vinh to Tribal Council. At Ton Vinh, Melissa and Skye get into a major argument about who was better at convincing the boys to flip. They ended up voting for Derrick, the weakest in challenges, but it was no use as the majority stuck together and in a 4-3 vote, Melissa was the third person voted out of Tom’s Survivor: Vietnam. Episode 4: After Tribal Council, Lord of Random, Katrina and Smithy were ready to turn on each other as they began to realise they were in the minority. However, Neleh was still uncertain about which side she would side with. At reward, Yeu won and at immunity, Yeu won again, sending Ton Vinh back to Tribal Council. At Ton Vinh, Gem started bonding with Nastasia, a good influencer on the majority alliance and her convincing worked. The majority decided that Skye was the target, whilst the minority targeted Pratyush for being too good at the game. In the end, no one flipped and Skye was sent home in a 4-2 vote. Episode 5: At Ton Vinh, Gem knows her fate is on the line as she is the last person in the minority. At Yeu, Katrina, Smithy and Lord of Random realise Neleh isn’t completely on the other side and they think if they try, they can flip her to their side. At Ton Vinh, the majority alliance realise if they lose immunity two more times, they will have to turn on each other which they are prepared for. At reward, Ton Vinh won, however it was a different story at the immunity challenge as Yeu won once again, sending Ton Vinh to Tribal Council for the 4th time this season. The majority at Ton Vinh all unanimously voted out Gem in a 4-1 vote. Episode 6: At Yeu, Surf was trying to help around camp more which his tribe appreciates. At Ton Vinh, The 4 decide to stick together throughout the merge no matter what. At both challenges, Yeu won, sending Ton Vinh to the last pre-merge Tribal Council. At Ton Vinh, Pratyush, Nastasia and R2 agree to vote for Derrick as they think he would get the furthest out of them 4 and at Tribal Council, he was sent home in a 3-1 vote with him voting Pratyush for playing the best game out of the 4. Episode 7: Merge finally happened at Final 10 which Ton Vinh was ecstatic about. It was 7 Yeu members versus 3 Ton Vinh members. At the first individual immunity challenge, Smithy won ensuring he wasn’t going home. At camp, R2 tries to save his alliance by talking to Smithy about the vote. Smithy says Lord of Random was the vote because he is too unpredictable, but R2 explains Katrina is the biggest threat in the tribe. He gets Neleh, Layla and Lord of Random on board to vote Katrina but Layla doesn’t trust him. At Tribal Council, the vote was 5-5 between Lord of Random and Katrina and after Layla flipped, Katrina was sent home one tribal shy of the jury. Episode 8: After Tribal, the former Ton Vinh members celebrate that they are in the majority as they were scared they were going to be pagonged. At the reward challenge, Neleh won getting a video from home. At the immunity challenge, Layla won, guaranteeing a spot in the final 8. Back at Camp, Lord of Random and Corinne get into a big fight about who the vote was. Original Ton Vinh members wanted to get Smithy out for being a potential challenge beast and they got Corinne, Surf and Layla on board. Lord of Random and Smithy wanted Neleh out as they thought she was too good socially. At Tribal Council, Smithy was sent thome in a 6-2-1 vote as Neleh was not approached by anyone. Episode 9: After Tribal Council, R2 isolated himself from the tribe which gave Nastasia and Pratyush the option to blindside him if they have to. At the reward challenge, Nastasia won and brang Corinne along with her. At the immunity challenge, Surf won guaranteeing a spot in the final 7. Lord of Random still wanted Neleh to go and convinced R2 to vote with him. However, it was no use as everyone else was voting against him and at Tribal Council, Lord of Random was sent home in a 6-2 vote, leaving R2 on the outs. Episode 10: Alliances were split and so anyone could be sent home with how the season has been going. At the reward challenge, Corinne won and at the immunity challenge, Surf won his second in a row. Nastasia isolated herself from the rest of the tribe which Neleh thought was the perfect reason to get rid of her. However, she didn’t realise she was the vote and she was voted out unanimously in a 6-1 vote. Episode 11: After Tribal, the only alliance left standing was Surf, Corinne and Layla’s whilst the former Ton Vinh members were ready to turn on each other as they were isolating themselves. At the reward challenge, Surf won and shared it with Pratyush and at the immunity challenge, Pratyush won. Pratyush was helping more at camp, as he knew he was safe, which his tribe appreciates. The former Ton Vinh members wanted Layla out as they thought she was the most strategic player this season, but the former Yeu members wanted Nastasia out. At Tribal Council, the vote was tied 3-3 and after Pratyush flipped, Nastasia was sent home and was the 4th jury member. Episode 12: After Tribal, Pratyush and R2 realise one of them is going next and they are going to fight hard in the immunity challenge. At the car reward challenge, Corinne won and went to watch the first five minutes of the season. At the immunity challenge, Layla won guaranteeing a spot in the final 4. Layla went to work with mending relationships which the tribe appreciates individually. R2 and Pratyush agree to vote for Surf as he was the biggest threat to win. It is no use though, as the Yeu members vote for R2, sending him to Ponderosa as the 5th jury member. Finale: The final 4 has 3 former Yeu members, Layla, Surf and Corinne and 1 former Ton Vinh member, Pratyush. Pratyush had to win immunity in order to stay but he lost to Layla. Pratyush tried to convince them to keep him but it was no use and he was sent to Ponderosa as the 6th jury member. After Pratyush’s elimination, the final 3 consisted only of Yeu members. Corinne was seen as a goat by Layla and Surf and it was whoever won final immunity was going to win. Surf managed to beat Layla and Corinne and at Tribal Council, it was a no brainer when Surf voted Layla out as the 7th and final juror member. Meaning the final 2 is Surf and Corinne. At the Final Tribal Council, both contestants plead their case to the jury. Corinne explains she was never targeted as she had 0 votes against her the whole game and how her social game got her to the end. Surf, however, explains that he used immunities to get him to the end as he had the joint most immunity wins with Layla and the most challenge wins overall. The jury believed Surf deserved the win for winning more immunities and in a 6-1 vote, he was crowned the sole survivor and the first ever winner over Tom’s Survivor. At the live show, R2 was given the fan favourite award for being a great underdog. Potential All-Stars: Surf, Corinne, Layla, Pratyush, R2, Nastasia Second Chance: El Diablo, Gofried, Melissa, Derrick, Katrina That’s a rap of the first season of Tom’s Survivor! Let me know your thoughts down below. I’ll see you next season, in Tom’s Survivor: Albania!
The Eastern Keep is ruled by Lord Kilprax, the sleezy commander who runs the trog den. He is a full spellcaster who can concentrate on two spells at once, with an AC around 18 and a magic flame sword. He has conjures, Call Lightning, Counterspell, and an army at his service. Last week, the Collector regiment retreated from Einmond, so the army should be in a state of upheaval. Frequent foot traffic should make the guards more lax. I expect new patrol schedules, a shift in their command structure, and a general influx of change. I plan to take advantage of this and enter the forest during the thunderstorm, when the trogs' sense of smell will be suppressed. As we near his Keep, I'll summon the poisoned spirits of the trees around us (dryads) to guide us to Kilprax, hopefully catching him outside his bolstered fort. Proposed Route: North along the river, gumbo at Vaktu's, and into the Poisoned Forest we go. Date/Time: Thursday, May 21, 11:59 pm GMT (7 pm CDT) Time Converter: https://notime.zone/M7QE5Wo6Oda9I Members: Looking for 3, level 6 and up. Very dangerous.
Wandering Monster Encounter
Open Palm Monk
Responses should be formatted as below: Character Name: Claire Clarke Level: 8 Class: Storm Sorcerer 1 / Shepherd Druid 7 Race: Air Genasi Number of Adventures: 24/24 Time Available: 5 hours Game Priority: It's my game, I'll be there. Skills: Healing, conjures, flight, and stealth in darkness.
2020.05.01 05:21 amielicious_timeHow to earn all Ribbons in BitLife in a realistic ways! (2020)
UPDATED LAST JULY 11, 2020 Hello guys! Now since I've got all ribbons last April since I first played last July 19, 2019! I loved how to do it. For now I'll show you here's how to get all the ribbons in a realistic ways:
🧠 Academic - Study harder every year, read books and go to library to enhance smarts, go to University in major, have excellent grades and smarts, and seek higher education (e.g. Graduate School, Medical School, etc.). Have under $2.5 million of net worth. Best used when the character is born with high smarts.
💊 Addict - You must at least 2 addictions to die. Get alcohol and drugs offered and go to gambling very often to get addicted. It is a random luck-based chance. Don't go to clubbing over 10 times with addictions. For easiest way to get, must have at least under 30% smarts, have many friends and go party with them often to get addicted to alcohol and play with gambling often to get addicted to gambling. Don't get seek higher education.
🚂 Bandit - Rob a train successfully in exact real system time (e.g. 4:20 PM or Midnight 12:00 AM). Make sure don't use time cheat.
👱♀️ Barbie Girl - Be a female or transgender female to get all plastic surgeries. Don't get seek higher education (such as Graduate School) or over $2.5 million of net worth for iOS users.
👨💼 Big Boss - Major in English, Finance, Information Systems, or Mathematics. Go to Business School after graduates. Get a Corporate-related job, work harder every year and then you'll be promoted to CEO. Have at least over $20 million of net worth. It is easiest to get as a second generation after inheritance over $20 million.
😸 Cat Lady - Be a female, adopt at least 30 cats and less than 5 pets of other species. Never get married in a life. Also you can be a transgender female to earn this ribbon.
🎭 Cunning - Commit a crime and successfully escape from jail, desert the military or illegally immigrate then get sex change via gender reassignment surgery. Never get caught by the police again until you die.
🗡️ Deadly - Murder at least 5 people. The easiest ones are Perform Drive-By (with fast coupe car) Electrocute Them, Poison Them, Impale Them, and Push Off Cliff. If fails, you will sent to jail or assaulted you to death. Also you can hire a Hitman to kill them, but it requires Bitizenship.
👨👧👦 Family Guy - Be a male and get married. Have under 5-7 children. Spend time 10 times and be good karma. Never abandon or go to jail. Have under $2.5 million of net worth. Also you can be a transgender male to earn this ribbon.
📸 Famous - Have a high looks and smarts. Get a fame-related jobs such as Actor, Singer, Chef, Model, Reporter, DJ, Writer, Magician, Mobile App Developer, and Pornographer. Work hard, promote them and become fame. Also this can be earned after elected as GovernoChief Minister or President/Prime Minister to become Famous Politician.
🍼 Fertile - Have at least 8 children or 5 children with 5 grandchildren in a life from a partner or adoption.
🎁 Generous - Gift items to friends and family at least 20-30 items with much appreciations and more karma without arguments.
♾ Geriatric - Live at least 120 years old in a life with spend time, full karma, happiness, and health without having an illness. Take diets to increase your health.
🌎 Globetrotter - Vacate as many at least 20 countries.
⛏️ Gold Digger - Have a high looks and smarts. Use Freelance Gigs to earn quick money. Open Dating app to find one with highest money income (green bar). Marry 1 richest spouse or more and you'll get over $1.5 million from inheritance through divorce or widow. Never get a job.
👮 Hero - Rescue someone from situation whether if save or die, just tap "Attempt to rescue him/her" button. Keep good karma. Also this can be earned after your character dies after being exploded and blown up by stepping on a mines while serving on a military or another is saving a choking relationship by successfully performing the Heimlich maneuver.
🎲 Highroller - Go to casino or horse racing, you must have high million net worth and win over $2 million lifetime winnings from gambling. It is harder to get for iOS users as a casino glitch patched.
🔓 Houdini - Escape from jail at least 10 times. For easiest way to get without maximum security prisons, see here.
✔️ Influencer (not working on Android) - Have a high looks and smarts. Sign up for a social media accounts at age 13. Post on social media as many times often every year, pick correct options such as Blog, Random, Challenge, Dance, Selfie, or Sexy Pic, get many of million likes and over hundred-thousands of followers and try to go viral. Promote your products if you have over 5 thousands of followers. Monetize your account on YouTube if you have over many thousands of subscribers. If you have over 100k followers, verify on social media accounts and get quickly over 1 million followers to become enjoyment of social media influencer. Also, you can be a fame career life (such as Actor or Singer), then repeat this procedures to get this ribbon.
🚔 Jailbird - Escape from jail and go back at least 2 times. Also this can be earned after jailed at least 3 times without escaping or riot many times due to committing more crimes repeatedly.
😴 Lazy - Have never got a job and at least 50 years old, just spam the age button until you die. Must have smarts higher than 10%. No Job Referral options, just tap "That's not for me" button.
😍 Lustful - Hook-up at least 20 people in one night stands or threesomes without spreading STDs.
🤑 Loaded - Have at least over $20 million of net worth. It is earned via lottery jackpot, inheritance from generations, or a rare expensive heirloom (such as Holy Grail). For easiest way to get, born in most wealthy countries (e.g. Monaco), get a highest-paying job (such as Brain Surgeon or Music Composer), work hard longer and make 20 million of net worth.
😐 Mediocre - It is the easiest to get because you don't have to pass the requirements to get other ribbons and have nothing much in a life. Also this can be earned after you get fired from the job or siblings, classmates or people assaulted you to death at very young age.
🙌 Model Bitizen - You can be a male or female. Compliment, spend time with the relationships and give money at least 10 times. You must have a job, a full karma and relationships and at least $50,000 of net worth without debt. Always pick the right choices in the random events. Always call the police on the situations (don't tap "Attempt to rescue him/her" or "Try to intervene" buttons) and turned it in to the authorities. Never abandon children or pets, argue anyone, ask for money, assault anyone, cheat on partner, go clubbing, go to jail, insult anyone, murder, offer to drink alcohol and drugs, spread STDs to people, steal, do other negative things or do anything lowers karma. Never commit a crime (such as deliquency, solicitation or take a parcel). Apologize or walk away from situation when someone or a relationship argue you or they have disagreement of conversation. Avoid getting any addictions or drug overdose. Don't get over $20 million of net worth to avoid getting the Loaded ribbon or at least 8 biological children, 4 biological children with 8 grandchildren or 5 biological children with 5 grandchildren to avoid getting the Fertile ribbon.
🏠 Monopoly - Make flipping houses at least of over $1 million real estate profits within buying, renovating at least good condition, and selling them much higher price at least 10 houses.
🤲 Mooch - Ask your parents to get money or buy pets and they refuse it at least 10 times.
🎬 Movie Buff - Watch a movie (Comedy, Documentary, etc.) at the movie theater every year at least 20 movies. Requires to watch ad if you don't have a Bitizenship. Don't get seek higher education (such as Graduate School) or at least $2.5 million net worth for iOS users.
💸 Rich - Have at least $2.5 million of net worth. Don't get over $20 million. It is best used for high-paying jobs and inheritances.
👹 Rowdy - Go clubbing at least 10 times, hook-up with them, argue people, and accept every offer to drink alcohol and drugs.
😈 Scandalous - Commit a major crime such as armed robbery or murder, get sentenced to jail and stay at least 5 years without escaping.
🤪 Stupid - Same as Lazy ribbon, but with have a lower smarts under 10%, never got a job, and making dumb decisions that lowers smarts at least 50 years old. Also this can be earned after your character dies due to drug overdose for iOS users.
👍 Successful - Have at least $250k of net worth, good karma and at least 65 years old. Avoid getting any addictions. Don't get over $2.5 million of net worth or seek higher education such as Graduate School.
🐯 Tarzan - Be a male, Bond with at least 20 exotic animals and spend time with them. You'll need a Bitizenship to buy exotic animals from Exotic Pet Dealer. Also you can be a transgender male to earn this ribbon.
🌵 Teammate - Born in Miami or Tucson, United States. Major in Computer Science or Information Systems then get a Mobile App Developer job. Promote to App Designer and maintain it. For Android users, so never get famous.
🦊 Thief - For iOS, you must steal as many at least 5 rob banks, 5 burgle houses, 5 steal cars, 10 pickpocket people, 10 porch pirates, 10 shoplift items, or 10 stealing random items (much easier). For Android, you must steal at least 2 burgle houses, 2 pickpocket people and 2 stealing cars but don't spend too much time in jail.
⛈️ Unlucky - Die under 30 years old after contract deadly diseases such as cancer or coronavirus (COVID-19). This is a random luck-based chance. Also this can be earned after your character dies due to struck by lightning or attacked by the terrorists in some war torn countries such as Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and Syria for iOS users. For easiest luck to get, use God Mode to edit all attributes to 0%, start a new life, contract with whooping cough, and die at least age 2 years old.
🚮 Wasteful - Go to Activities, then go to Surrender option to end life immediately. Also this can be earned after sentenced to death or highest debt of net worth.
👿 Wicked - Spread at least 5 STDs to them from hook-ups, abandon at least 5 children, release at least 5 pets, or more.
🎖️ Veteran - Get in the military as enlistee or officer (requires University in any majors). You must deploy mines successfully many times using Minesweeper game (have practice them with skills). Serve full career in the military until reach at age 62. For those who fail to deploy and blown up on mines, get Minesweeper Solver here.
For the Prison Escape guide, see here. For the Careers and Jobs guide, see here.
2020.04.19 02:37 anonymous_1981Biggest Bitch sister of all time???
Ok im new here, im also probably alot older than most of you here, so i apologize in advance if im not up to par on lingo. Second of i apologize for bad grammar or punctuation. I say im older, im in my late 30's, so is my brother, and my sister is in her 40's. So a bit of a back story and history; my sister has always been the favorite, and the angel, in my father and grandfathers eyes. Me, i was the least favorite. Obvious differences were made. My sister going to california with grandparents, and to silver dollar city, and my father would take to tge state fair every year, while either never having the money or time to take my brother and I. (Alot of this is going to sound petty and it is, and i know it is but this is contect to show difference made) My sister and brother were given cars for their 16th birthday, i wasnt. On my 17th birthday my brother was given an $200 air compressor with air hammer. My brother also got a 20 ga. Shotgun on his 14th birthday, i got nothing. I tried everything to get approval from my grandfather and father. Fast forward several years. (I will be skipping around in my life a bit depending on relevance) Things my sister has now done: Try to steal inheritance: Took photos and airlooms from my grandfathers place(91 and still kickin love that old fart) without asking anyone if they minded (with my grandfathers permission though[not the point]) Tried to convince my grandfather to sell his place and buy a mobile home 4 homes away from her (my guess is so she could try to lay claim to it after my grandfather passes) Tried to convince my grandfather to sign over the front 53 acres of his property to her and give the rest of us land locked 15 acres to divide. Try to hook our grandfather up with a whore that was putting moves on him in front of everybody during Christmas! Has taken ungodly amounts of money from our grandfather Told my mother that when our father dies(who knows who will die first) that she will be taking our mother with her and then plans to stick her in a nursing home. As though my brother and i dont have a say or count. Has told her husband(same age as our mother) that she has a 5 year plan and it involves him being dead so she can move in with her boyfriend (who was a jailbird for rape) also told her husband she dont love him anymore. (Then wonders why she dont have a say in her house lol) At 14 she told our mom that if she got pregnant there wasnt anything my mom could do about it. She was always bossing my brother and i around to the point we would be telling her to (shut upand shes not our mom!) Long before her husband she dated (said jailbird above mentioned while he was in federal prison....she was 15!) Had multiple boyfriends move in my.parents home (still under 18) Jealousy over me? When my exwife was pregnant about the time we had the baby shower late 2000 early 2001 my sister who hates kids got pregnant with her son I bought me a new truck and she then exclaimed she needed a new one even though hers was only 2-3 years old. My wife got an suv and then she "had to have one" I bought my wife a gun, my sister had to have one I started a business and have been mildly successful, my sis had to open one (it failed) My wife and i went on a cruise, she had to go on one (she never went). Lies we think she has told Her jailbird lover works for his brother and is rich Her jailbirds brother has a private jet She has a "backer" Her jailbirds wife is loaded and hes waitingnfor her to kick the bucket to collect his paycheck because supposedly she has left him everything So to conclude; I will say, i have been the one on the other end manipulating and blocking my sister from doing too much damage to our family, our grandfather and our inheritance. I did this by telling my mother exactly why and what she is doing, my mother then has went to her father( my grandfather and exposed his granddaughter to him.) I have also blocked my sister for after my parents die and if they have money to leave.....it is not going to me, my brother, or my sister....it would be left for the grandchildren and my brother is to be in charge of the distribution of the inheritance with my approval and signature required. I have block my sister at every avenue i can think of to prevent her evil. She has played checkers, while i have played chess! (Check) Maybe not revenge but its something....ill update if i think of anything more she has done!
Preamble The author, David Samuels elto_danzig , approached me for a review after finding me on the TBRindr list. I am happy to help out a fellow indie author, so I read his pitch. It called it an adventure story that would appeal to fans of Kings of the Wyld and Gentlemen Bastards (both of which I have not yet read). However, he said that the plot and the atmosphere capture the spirit of Mad Max (2015), The Mummy (1999), and Indiana Jones (no date given - let's go with the first three movies). I chuckled to myself about how, owing to the ubiquity of remakes these days, it was necessary for David to date the films he cited. I was damn glad he picked 1999’s The Mummy, and not the newer one - shows a basic elevated level of taste, you know? A quick note about my review style: I am no monkey picking nits from the hide of his pack mate. I take a Ram Dassian view of art, i.e. perfection does not exist in nature, but five out of five reviews do (go figure)! I try to look at books as forests, rather than groupings of trees, and I’m not a teacher. If a book is effective in what it sets out to do, the writing is good, and I am happy with it when it’s done, I generally give it full marks. Small stylistic, grammatical, or spelling blemishes do not usually detract from a score. What will detract is abortive pacing (one of my biggest peeves), overuse of description (see first peeve), and ineffectual characterization. I also know from personal experience that some things decried as bugs are in fact features, so I try to appreciate what an author is trying to do when I come up with my score. In this case, it was billed as an adventure story like The Mummy. That is precisely what we get. Review – 5/5 As I said, this is an adventure story in a desert setting, filled with ancient evils and arcane knowledge from days gone by. There is a boatload of rollicking action, a few twists, and an epic conclusion that leaves it open for a sequel. A dyed-in-the-wool H.P. Lovecraft aficionado, I have a serious love for descriptive prose. I am all for a bit of the old Hemingway ‘cut it down to the bones’ version of writing, which has basically taken over most fiction these days. But God damn – do I enjoy it when I have to use the Kindle dictionary to expand my vocabulary as I read. Give me death or give me da purp(le prose). Thankfully, Samuels delivers the latter (although there is plenty of the former to go around for some of the characters). That’s not to say that the language is too complex, which is a problem in and of itself. Rather, I, Exile has a style that is very descriptive but not overly so. A fine balance was struck by Samuels – hats off to him. I also enjoyed the use of anachronisms and modern slang. I do not find that this detracts from a story, and it was fitting, given that the main character (it’s told from a first-person perspective) is a jailbird. At first I thought this was a heist tale, because it starts of with the main character, Emelith, and her partner, Niellan, attempting to thieve some ancient scroll from a bunch of hard-ass monks. Things go south pretty quickly – Niellan double-crosses her and Emelith is left to pick up the pieces in jail. She is sentenced to death for her crime, a sentence which involves being cast out into a massive desert wasteland, the site of some ancient apocalyptic happening where nothing grows, except for giant scorpions and spiders and all kinds of Mummy-esque nastiness. She eventually does meet other people, though, and while we don’t find a mummy in the story, there is a perfect fantasy version of that idea represented as the main villain (one hint: phylactery)… I won’t go into any further detail, because you’ll need to read it yourself. Suffice it to say that the story is action-packed, featuring interesting characters and expertly-timed beats. The pacing is just fantastico. I’ll be frank: you’re not getting a huge philosophical statement on the human condition, but there is a redemption element to the story which was enjoyable. I especially liked Emelith’s change in perspective and what she does at the end. I won’t spoil it. Nonetheless, I, Exile is a popcorn flick of a book, and it executes this perfectly well. Overall, I was very impressed with David Samuels’ I, Exile. I read the book over the course of a couple of days, which is a great sign. I waited to post the review, though, because today is launch day! You can get the book from Amazon here.
2020.01.14 02:47 Rhyme_Noceros03I broke up with my girlfriend and I feel broken
ok so I know that title isn't very specific but to go into more detail, I had been dating her for about 8 months and I really loved her. Honestly I still do. Thing just became incredibly unhealthy for me. To give more context she suffers from both depression and anxiety as well as having an incredibly shitty homelife. She is currently living out of a hotel with only her mom and having a jailbird father. I know I sound really shitty already but she has been incredibly hard to be with. She would constantly freak out whenever I said anything that could be taken even somewhat seriously and would use self harm and depression as a way to guilt me and in a way keep me hostage. towards the end of the relationship I began to feel almost trapped like there was nothing I could do but I tried to hide that from her until we got into a huge fight over a misunderstanding. We didn't speak for a few days and she wouldn't stop texting me about how she had relapsed on self harm and how she just wanted things to be normal again. I started to realize I need to put myself first and I didn't feel like I have a choice. I went to school and after talking to some friends I knew I needed to do this. So after school we walked down to a boba place and on the way she joked are you gonna breakup with me and apparently I made a face and she realized and she started getting really angry with me and yelling that it was my fault and that we should work through it. I think that's partially true that I could have communicated better but I was able to respond then because I could hold back tears anymore. She told me that I was the only reason she hadn't killed herself and I just feel so empty and I do even know what to do if she hurts herself. I just felt like I was completely trapped as if I stayed with her it would be unfair to her. I know all break ups suck but I just feel like im barely alive and that I hurt her. I know it sounds like I don't but I really really care about her and want her to be happy but I just couldn't take the stress anymore and I really just want her to e able to be happy and safe. Obviously there's much more detail than I could post but I really just wanna know if I did the right thing. It feels like I not only lost my gf but also my best friend.
2019.12.14 19:44 coconut7flamingoI (20F) really like this guy (21M)… but he’s in jail
So I was in a pretty serious relationship for 2 & 1/2 years and got dumped in early February and decided to start to branch out and meet more people. My ex was really jealous and possessive so when it came to social media, I never really followed other males, including good friends to avoid any fights. After the break up, I took liberty in following whoever I wanted and followed this guy I went to high school with but never really talked to, let’s call him Matt. He followed me back and direct messaged shortly after. We conversed and began texting. Because it was still kind of soon after my breakup (Early March now but I had accepted it and moved on btw), I figured it was best to just chill with feelings and maybe just try out casual hook ups. Matt & I’s texting was definitely flirty sometimes & I planned on him being my first casual hook up. However, as we continued texting, I found myself kind of liking him but doing all that I could to push off feelings. We hung out for the first time and it went really well. He was very gentleman like and opened doors for me (even the car door) and paid for my drink as well. It definitely seemed more like a date than I expected it to be, but I was completely content about it. Over the next few hangouts, he was more physically affectionate like hand holding, lightly touching my cheek, & resting his head on me (in front of his friends too). I definitely was starting to like him more but never admitted it to anyone or myself out loud. Just a bit of background context on him, he wasn’t attending college and had instead became a licensed barber (nothing wrong with that to me). However, he was also a plug aka a drug dealer. One morning (now early April) I messaged him & I noticed later in the day it never said delivered on iMessage. He never responded that day which was a first because we texted everyday since he first dm’d me on Twitter. I double texted him again the following night to check up on him and it sent as a text message this time so I knew something was up. I had an inkling of what happened, & I went investigating on twitter to see if I could find anything out. Sure enough, one of his good friends tweeted “free M” & I dm’d him to confirm it was about Matt. Matt had been arrested, presumably for possession. Possession of marijuana cartridges are a felony where we live and he definitely had multiple on him. I did some googling and assumed he would be locked up for a good minute. It sucked because once he was gone I realized just how much I truly liked him but started to move on because I figured it was hopeless. I continued my casual hook up journey and started texting another guy in May, but I still checked in with Matt’s friend on twitter for any updates on him. Towards late May I got a dm from Matt’s twitter account saying he wanted me to know that he didn’t just stop talking to me and that he got locked up. Matt heard from his friend that I was asking about him and told his mom to message me through his account. She also went on to tell me I could write him a letter and even visit him if I would like. I decided to go see him because I really wanted to know what had happened and possibly for closure for the whole situation. The visit went really well and he asked me to write him so I did. This is now early June when I began writing him. I was still talking to that guy and planned to hook up with him, but for whatever reason it just never happened. By mid June, Matt was finally sentenced to 6 months in a treatment facility type jail in a different city 5 hours away. He had to wait at the county jail to be transferred but time there still counted towards the 6 month sentence. I had met a couple other guys and was seeing where things went with them (regarding casual hook ups) but was still kind of unsure if I wanted to wait on Matt or not. I was still writing him and even visited him a few times while he was still at county. By mid August, Matt wrote to me that he would be transferred pretty soon and was unsure if they allowed inmates to mail privileges or not. This was when I realized I did in fact still have feelings for him, so I decided to tell him before he got transferred. Luckily he received my letter and responded before being transferred and he told me he likes me a lot too. I even got a second letter that he wrote to send me in case he got transferred before receiving a letter back from me where he said he liked me & would love to pick up where we left off depending on my status! I told him I would be single when he gets out as long as he would stay out of trouble. Even more luckily, he was allowed to still write me at the new facility. Ever since we told each other how we felt, I stopped seeking casual hook ups and was content that none actually ever worked out. We’ve been writing back and forth like usual and all is still going good between us. Until mid last month, a guy, we’ll call him Todd, direct messaged me on twitter regarding a tweet about my favorite athlete I had retweeted. We began talking about the athlete and he eventually asked for my number so I gave it to him because he seemed like a cool dude. Like Matt, I had went to high school with Todd but never talked to him or seen him around much. We also texted everyday since he first messaged me. Things got slightly flirty after a week and it was clear that we were interested in a casual hook up. In fact, Todd made it clear he was interested in a friends with benefits or relationship with me. Todd is unlike any guy I’ve had interest in and definitely different from Matt. Matt is more street smart to say and Todd is extremely intelligent and has a 4.0 gpa. Todd has a set career goal and ambition and drive. It’s honestly really attractive. Also, Todd is extremely funny and humor is such a top tier personality trait to me. No one has made me laugh as hard as Todd has besides Matt. I know for sure now if anything were to happen with Todd, it would just be a hook up. But he really got me thinking and second guessing. I had a night soon after where I began panicking & I stepped back & asked myself “what are you doing???” for the first time during the whole Matt situation. It just seemed really not smart for me to be waiting on someone in jail when I could be talking to guys like Todd. When I calmed down, I realized I still really really liked Matt & wanted to continue to wait for him for the time being. Plus, at this point, I’ve waited this long for him and there’s only 2 more months until he gets out. However, I’m still confused on if I should do anything with Todd or not. Although Matt & I never were and still aren’t actually together, would it be wrong if I did sleep with Todd? Also, am I dumb for waiting on a jailbird? I initially told my mom everything when I thought Matt was going to be gone for good and she told some of my family and some said he’s a loser going nowhere in life & good riddance. My sister on the other hand has defended me and knows how good of a person Matt is and says the heart wants what it wants, along with other family members. I agree with that statement and have a really strong feeling that Matt & I would work towards a serious relationship once he gets out. As for my friends, half say I should weigh out my options and continue meeting people & the other half say I should just wait on Matt because I do like him so much. The whole situation is kinda tough & unique & I’m just pretty torn on both of these questions and would love any unbiased input. TL;DR : I met a guy a couple months before he got arrested, kept in contact & we both established that we really like each other (we are not officially together), is it a bad idea to wait for him to get out & would it be wrong to sleep with another guy while he’s still locked up?
2019.11.26 16:43 InkFoxPrintsParallels Chapter Four [Growing (and Groaning) Pains Part One
Chapter Four: Growing (and Groaning) Pains So, I write, my pencil making scratching noises along the piece of paper than Ms. Neve gave me to write on, this afternoon, I was heading down the hallway past the principal's office, and- "Whoa, stop right there, Theo. What day do you think it is right now?" Ms. Neve asks me, worry creasing her face. "Umm... ," I say, and I start in surprise- my voice is back, which is great, but then why is everyone looking at me funny? It's only been a few hours, as far as I can tell, so then why am I getting so many concerned looks? As my mind tries t figure that out, a shadow of doubt suddenly come creeping along on over me. "It's Tuesday, which makes it the seventeenth of September, as far as I know…" "Well, then, Theo, I hate to burst your bubble," Ms. Neve says, giving me a sad smile, "it's the twentieth. It's Friday, not Tuesday. You've been out for the last three days, and I can tell that your ribs are feeling better, which is certainly a plus." "What? I don't believe you, it can't possibly have been three days, I mean, I've probably just healed, I have been known to be a quick healer, you know." "No, that's not it at all, Theo," Mrs. Neve says, showing me her phone, which, sure enough, displays Friday, March 20 as the date. "And as for why your ribs feel better, well, you've been in and out of surgery four times to fix your broken ribs. Do you want to guess how many there were?" "Umm… I'm not quite sure, Ms. Neve, but I can see in your eyes that you're going to tell me anyways, and just why the flock do I feel like I'm not going to like the answer?" "Because you're not, Theo. Save for five, all of your ribs were broken. Had we not gotten you here as quickly as we managed to, then, Theo, and I hate to say this, but you wouldn't be here right now, talking to us right now." "Well," I ask, feeling confused, "where would I be?" No one answers my question, and I slowly start to feel realization sink in, drenching me in cold cold sweat. "You mean to say that I would be- I would be dead? I'm only fifteen years old, who the flock would want me dead, and what the flock for?" "Apparently," Ms. Neve says, "our former, now jailbird, principal did, and don't ask me why, because I have no damn idea whatsoever. I do get the feeling, though, that he's going to claim that his medicine made him crazy and that he shouldn't be held accountable for the consequences of his actions for that very reason..." "Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest," I say feeling flecks of spit come flying out of my mouth as I do, "because who wants a flocking fox, right? As I was saying during lunch whenever I was last in school, whenever that was, nobody's ever going to accept us. We're freaks." "On the contrary," Mrs. Neve says, giving me a smile that looks like it could power an entire city, "you're not, and in case you hadn't noticed, Theo, the door to this room is closed for a reason." "Right," I say, "because otherwise, I would be overrun by people who want me dead." "Actually, Theo," Ms. Neve says, smiling even more brightly than she was just a few seconds earlier, "you would be overrun not by spiteful mammals, young tod, but by well-wishers. In fact, I'm going to go let them in now, and they can say hello. That is," she says, "if you don't mind." "No, I don't mind one bit," I say. "Please, I could use a little more joy in my life than there is, you know? I've had a rough time of it." "I understand," she says, opening the worn wooden door to my room, which swings slowly on hinges that sound as if they haven't been oiled in several Earth years. No, scratch the think part of that statement right out, I know that they haven't been oiled in who knows how long, because there's not a single better way to drive a fox, or any other mammal with ears like mine, crazy, than to drill loud noises into our ears. Thankfully, though, the auditory assault ends no more than a second later as the door slides open completely, its magnetic holder on the back clicking softly with the one on the wall of the hallway, and I can see that there are several people- humans and mammals both- waiting for me. They file on into my room, taking seats in any place they can find save for my bed. I scan the assembled faces, and I notice than each and every single one of those faces wears a look of pained concern, which I'm more than willing to bet is directed toward me. I look around, and I see the faces (and muzzles, for those that have them) of friends and family, all waiting to see how I'm doing. I don't have the chance to tell them anything, though, as Alaina comes up to me and goes to wrap me in a hug, then seems to think better of it and tucks her paws in her pockets and gives me a smile instead. "How are you holding up, Theo?" she asks, the worry in her smile more than evident. "I got here as soon as I heard, but you were in surgery by then, and, well, you've been in and out three more times for all the bleeding you were doing. I've been praying for you for the last three days, young man, and thank whoever's up there, whether it be God, Karma, or the Celestials that you came out of this alive. You're going to be here for another week or so, though, and we're going to need another principal." "I'm holding up well, sis," I say, "and I hope you are too. I hear that I had everyone worried sick, but I have no idea why they'd care about a fox," I continue, winking so that everyone can see that I'm only having a laugh. "You know, Alaina, I love you like a sister." "I know, Theo, " she says, giving me a peck on the cheek that elicits several soft 'awws' from the humans and mammals in the room. "I love you too, brother dear. Now, would you please stop doing this sort of scat, because you just keep scaring me witless, and some days I wonder how I manage to get them back." "I don't know, Alaina, I just don't know. Can we get rid of xenocidal maniac of a principal, please? 'Cause I know that there's no way in flocking hell that I'm going to be going back to that school unless he's gone; no way, no how until he goes away to the can for good, the scumbag son of a vixen…. Thankfully, though, he didn't kill me, but from what I've been told, it was pretty flocking close." "You're not kidding, Theo, not kidding at all. The paramedics got you into the ambulance, and they had to stick a tube down your throat to give you oxygen to make sure that you kept breathing, because there were several times, so the paramedics told me when I got here to the hospital, that it looked like you were going to go under, and that it looked for sure that you weren't going to come up," Ms. Neve says. "I'm ever thankful to whosoever might be up there in heaven that you've made it out alive." "That we are," Papa says, coming in the doorway to join the rest, Mama close on his heels. "Theo," Mama exclaims. "What happened to you? We have been in, but like I'm more than sure you've been told, you've been-a out for more than three days. We were-a afraid that you weren't going to make it." "Don't you worry about that now, Mama," I say, giving her the best smile than I can manage, especially given that my whole body is starting to ache from the strain of fighting the sleep that wants to swallow me whole. "But I have to take a nap, now, okay?" "Just as long as you can promise me that you'll wake up, you understand, young man?" "Yes, Mama," I mumble, and let the black tide that's starting to swim around the edges of my vision take me whole, and I pass out. This time, though, the darkness is not entirely black, and I can't quite say whether that's a blessing and a curse, because although the world has gone dark, dreams start do filter slowly behind my closed eyelids, but they seem to be more like memories that evolve into dreams: my first loose tooth, for example, which becomes me chatting up the tooth fairy (who then turns into my mother, the biological one, that is, who starts scolding me for staying up too late. I yell at her to shut up, and the dream then morphs into another memory, one of me getting the highest score on a test when I was in third grade. I see myself as a little kit, feeling so, so, so pound of myself. I feel overjoyed when the teacher, a wolf by the name of Ms. Latenna, calls me up to the front of the class, like I remember her doing with the kids who got the highest scores on tests, and then she would give them a small prize or something like that. However, when she calls me up, she points straight at me, and instead of giving me a small piece of chocolate like usual, she hands me a rotten apple. "This, Theo," she says, "is for getting the lowest score on the test. I gasp in shock and look down at my test, which, instead of having a bright red A-plus on it like it did when I got up from my seat, I see that it has an even brighter F-double minus on it, and when I hang my head in embarrassment, I have the dream that every mammal dreads- a dream in which they're standing in front of their entire class without any clothes on. Embarrassed, I tuck my tail around my legs and run to the back of the room. I try to hide, but it's no use- the points of all of my fellow students follow me, laughing like madmammals. I run out of the classroom, teardrops streaming down my face, and then I find myself in the hallway, and it isn't in my school on Terra. No, it's the scene that put me here- in front of the former principal- and the same scenario plays itself out again. As I fly through the air, I scream, and as I hit the ground, I jerk upright, wide awake and still screaming. I look around, eyes as wide open as it's possible for them to be, and thankfully, oh, thank God and Karma that I'm in the real world instead of the terror that has become my dreams. I mean, at least I think that this is the real life, and not just another fantasy. In order to be sure, I tap a nervous paw on the rails of my bed, feeling it to make sure that it's real. Thankfully, it seems to be, and so I take a deep breath in through my nose and let it out slowly through my mouth, like I taught myself to do before I made the journey here to Earth, and I repeat the process for a few minutes in order to be completely sure that my nerves aren't fried completely. Once I'm absolutely and completely sure that I'm awake and alive, if not exactly entirely enthusiastic, I take a look around the room, and I see all of the terrified faces of the humans and mammals who have come in to visit me, all of them waiting to see what's going to happen, each and every single one of those faces concerned for my safety, and well, I can't help but hope that I'll be able to keep in touch with them when my exchange ends, because it's these people who have helped me survive in this new world, and I mean that about as literally as I can. "Is everything okay, Theo?" Jenna asks, coming over to sit next to me, silver fur shining in the sunlight that's still streaming in through the window, although it seems to have grown brighter. If I had to guess, it's about mid-day, which Jenna confirms. "Yeah, everything's fine, Jenna," I say, trying to smile but finding that it hurts. "I just had a nightmare, that's all." "That's good," she says, returning my smile with a million-watt one of her own. "You scared the scat out of most of us here when you screamed, and I think that the nurses are probably wondering what's going on themselves," she says, gesturing with a sweep of her paw towards the door and hallway, where there are two nurses in light blue scrubs waiting outside, waiting for an okay, as far as I can tell. "It's safe to come in," I tell them. "Don't worry, I'm okay, I just had a nightmare," I say, hoping that the concerned atmosphere that's floating around everyone here will go away. I've never had this much attention all to myself before, and while it's nice to know that there are people and mammals in the world who are all looking out for me and my well-being, I don't like being worried about. I have a mother back on Terra who's like that, and if I'm being completely honest, it's more than I can handle; it doesn't help that that's almost exactly what's going on here. "That's good to hear," says the first nurse, a slim woman with a swirl of silver in her brown hair, which is pinned into a bun behind her head. "I'm Nurse Proctor, the supervisor on this floor. All three of us have actually been in several times, but as I'm sure that you've been told, you were quite out of it." "Yes," I say, "I have. But really, I'm okay, it was just a nightmare." "Theo," the second nurse, Nurse Jensen, judging from the white plastic name badge that's clipped to her scrubs top on an elastic cord, "have you ever been in a hospital before?" "No, ma'am," I say, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment that I can't still quite seem to understand. "Why do you ask?" "I was just wondering, Theo, that's all. I want to let you know that it's our jobs to keep you as safe as you can be, and we're just trying to check in, no worries." "I'm glad, Ms. Jensen," I say, pulling the thin hospital blankets off of me, and try to push myself up. As I do, two hot lances of pain shoot down my ribs, one on each side, and I gasp in shock, sinking back down onto and into the bed. "Ow…" I groan. "Flock, that hurt!" "That's what having most of your ribs broken will do to a person, or should I say a mammal?" she asks, her smile creased with concern. "You're healing rather nicely, Theo, but I wouldn't try to get up again for another day or two, alright? I'm sure that you've heard that you're a fast healer, but please, don't try to get up. You have a tube attached in case you need to go to the bathroom, and don't go passing out on us again, please? I like you, and I don't want to see you getting hurt again. I have to go now, but when I get back, would you mind telling me some things about you? I've never met a mammal, you see…" "Not a problem," I say, smiling. "That's great!" she replies, then heads back out of my room and into the hallway, winking at me as the door slowly swings back shut, miraculously not screeching this time around. As soon as she's left the room and the door clicks shut, Mama looks straight into my eyes. "What happened to-a you?" she asks, her accent slipping through, which means that she's pretty nervous, because I've come to learn that she hates it, because everybody mocks her for it. "Well, Mama," I say, "the principal, who is the principal of our school no longer, well, he decided that it was his duty to beat the scat-stuffing out of me, all because I'm a fox. Don't ask me what the flock his reasoning was, because it makes not a single lick of sense to me. Does it make any sense to any one of you?" "NO!" everyone shouts in unison, so loudly, in fact, that I nearly jump right out of my bed. "Whoa, sorry about that," Isaac says, blushing red hot. "I didn't realize that I was so loud." "Yeah, sorry about that, Theo," Isaac says, and after that, everyone starts apologizing on top of each other, and it builds faster for about ten seconds, then bubbles out, and slowly, everyone goes quiet. "So, Theo, my son," Papa says, giving me a smile that still shows concern, yet in his look, I can also see a few small flecks of happiness, "what happened in school earlier this week?" "Well," I begin, feeling cautious at first, but then the story starts to spill out of me, like a wine barrel that's lost its stopper. "I was late getting to the bus, and I found myself standing right by the principal's office, and….," I continue, and fifteen minutes later, the entire tale of that altercation is told, from the point where I came up from class late to where I ran into the principal, then to where I found myself flying, and all the way up to now." "Shit…," Jenna whispers, just barely loud enough for my ears to pick up. "That bastard. It makes me want to go chew his head off, and I'm not talking about the figurative kind of chewing one's head off, either." "Jenna!" Ms. Neve exclaims, shock evident in the creases of her face. "What have I told you about language?" "I don't care right about now, Mama!" Jenna says, her teeth on full display and hackles raised in anger. "One of my only friends was just beaten to within a few hairs' breadth of his life, and you expect me to restrain my tongue? I'm sorry, Mama, but I won't, and what's more? I can't do that, I just can't, not seeing Theo like this." "I understand, sweetheart, but please, try. We don't need people thinking that we're animals." Jenna huffs in frustration, and Ms. Neve shakes her head, having realized that she's misspoken. "Sweetheart," she says, "you know what I meant. I didn't mean it like that." "I know, Mom," she says, but I'm feeling awfully flocking ticked off right now. I don't know if you can tell, but my emotions are riding about as they can without me being mistaken for a rabid fox, and I'm really feeling ready to give in to that anger, especially after seeing how Theo looks, so, Mom, I hope that you'll willing to understand that, at least." "Don't worry, Jenna," Mrs. Neve says, stroking the fur behind Jenna's ears, and Jenna sighs, tail going from stuck straight out behind her in furious agitation to wagging slightly in contentment. "I know, Mom, I'm not," she says, sighing and gesturing with a sweep of her right paw to our surroundings, which, upon inspection, are quite possibly the dullest surroundings that I've ever been in, although that's not exactly saying much, considering how much of my school back on Terra, Barkham Olding High, was almost exactly the same, from the cracked linoleum tiles on the floor to the pea-green and mud-brown walls to the smeary glass of the window, which thankfully, looks to be just the glass and not grime on the glass, "It's just that it's not fair is all. Why can't humans and mammals just get along?" "An excellent question, Jenna, and I have not a single fricking clue how I should answer it, not a single clue at all." She pauses for a second, putting a finger to her chin in thought, and after what seems like an eternity, but in reality is probably more like fifteen or twenty seconds, she speaks. "Actually," she says, tapping that same finger on the end of her chin, "I do have an idea…" "Oh?" I ask, intrigued. "And just what might that be, Mrs, Neve?" "Well, Theo," she says, "do you remember what we were talking about your last day in school?" "Yes, Mrs. Neve," I say, "I do. I remember you talking about how we couldn't get along because people were too put off by the teeth and claws, but to me, well, that just seem like a good enough reason to ignore us sentient mammals and treat us like- if you'll pardon my language- shit. I mean, if you think about it, we're the same as humans- primitive mammals that evolved to sentience, just the difference being that it was what I've heard humans call 'primitive' creatures that evolved on the Terran side of the Bridge instead of the apes like on the Earth side, who gave rise to the humans." "That's right," she says, drumming her fingers along the armrest of the old wooden chair that she's now sitting in by the window, the tap-tap-tap pattern that they're making repeating every few seconds, and do you remember talking about a few ideas that we could use to try to persuade the students at school to the effect that we weren't all bloodthirsty savages." "Yeah," I laugh, and then groan as two more lances of pain flash down my sides, only this time, they're not as painful as the last two- only very painful instead of 'oh, dear God and Karma, let me die' painful like the last time that same flash of pain happened, thank goodness. You said that the maniac's gone to jail?" I ask, coughing as a spasm of pain passes through my ribs, and then is gone as soon as it arrived, leaving me gasping for breath. "It's okay, everyone," I say, it's just that my ribs are hurting, that's all. I'm sure that you all understand, and please, everyone, quit standing around. Grab yourselves chairs, make yourselves comfortable. I'm fine, and it's going it be a long, long while until I can get out of here- at least a week, and that's if I manage to heal faster than I ever have before. Even being me has its limits, which, to be totally honest, is annoying, but that is the way it is, always has been, and is always going to be." "I hear you, Theo," Isaac says, piping up for the first time, cream-tipped tail flicking in greeting. "That was probably one of the most terrifying experiences that I've had in my entire life. Dude," he says, giving my paw a nervous squeeze," I thought you were dead. I-I…" he stammers, trailing off. "Don't do that again, okay?" "I couldn't exactly help it, Isaac," I say, giving him a small smile and laugh. "Thanks for the concern, though, and can we please talk about something else?" "Sure, but what else is there to talk about, exactly? I mean, there's not exactly any variety in hospital rooms, unless, of course, you like talking about the several different shades of green and brown that have been used to decorate the walls of all of the rooms in this place? There are more than I ever thought possible, and I think that the only place I've seen any other color was in the library. Speaking of that, I saw a good book in the library, do you want me to bring it for you?" "What was it called?" I ask. "If it's something that I've read already, then no, but if I haven't read it already, then sure, I don't mind." "Um... Theo," he says, laughing softly, "I have no idea what you've read, you've never told me anything about your reading habits, and besides, I've only known you for the last week, I wouldn't exactly say that that's enough time to learn every little thing about you…" "I suppose not," I laugh, feeling the skin on my face heat up under my fur, and I duck my ears, knowing I'm blushing and hating it. "What did you see in the library that you thought looked interesting?" "Well," he says, pulling a pad of paper out of the left pocket of her shorts and skimming down the list. "I saw a bunch of what I know the humans call 'classics of literature,' whatever that means- Catch-22, which is about one of the human wars eons and eons ago; Paper Towns, which is about a boy trying to unravel the disappearance of his friend Margo, which I've read and think is awesome, and last but not least, one of my absolute favorites- another human classic." "Oh?" I ask, intrigued. "What's it called?" "It's called A Man Called Ove," he says, "and this one particular novel might be my very favorite. I spend most of my time reading, and I have to say that this particular novel has been one that I will happily read and reread several times." "What's it about?" I ask, interest piqued at the prospect of being able to have a few books to read, along with the company that I already have, because, as I said, they're not going to want to stand around here forever, and if I'm being completely honest, I don't think that I really want them, either- not that I don't want them around, but how is it fair of me to ask them to give up all of that time for me? I don't matter that much, do I? Plain and simple, no, no I don't, but it is still nice having some people worry for my health and safety. "A grumpy old human man learning why life is so valuable," he says. "As I said, it's wonderful, and the others, well, I'll leave the discovery to you." "So which one should I read first, Isaac?" I ask. "What's the best of the best of the books that you've picked?" I ask, hoping that he'll pick one for me, I've never exactly been good at picking out what I should read; I always want to read them all. "Well," he says, tapping the cover of the thin paperback that shows an older human man with his back facing the front, along with a small cat by his feet- a Siamese, if I remember my cat breeds correctly. I read the cover- A Man Called Ove, it reads, by Frederik Backman. "I would recommend that you start with this one. As I said, it's probably one of the best books that I've ever read, and no, Theo, it's not going to bore you to pieces. Of course, I don't know if it's possible to actually bored to pieces, but as I'm sure that you can figure out on your own, I'm not willing to do that for you." 'That's nice to hear, Isaac," I say, "because I'm sure that this hospital visit will do it for me once I'm done reading all of these books." "Yeah, well, Theo, like you said," he laughs, "Human- English, in this case- isn't your first language, so you'd better hope that there aren't too many…" "No kidding. I can speak it, but some of the spellings still are out of my reach. If I have any troubles, Isaac, I'll make sure to let you know." "That's great, Theo!" he says, going to give me a leaping hug, but then he stops himself. "Yeah, probably not a good idea if I do that, now is it, Theo, jump on you to give you a hug?" he asks, the edges of his mouth drooping into a frown as he does. "Dumb howler that I am, I can't seem to think before I act, now can I? "Sorry, Theo," he says, his tail drooping down between his legs like I've seen a dog do when its human kicks it in anger, "but I'm kinda stupid, in case you hadn't noticed already." "Yeah, you are," I say, poking fun in reference to the jokes the four of us- me, Jenna, Isaac, and Alaina- were making at our own expenses the day I got beat to scat and turned into a bloody pulp. "Theo!" Mama cries. "How dare you be so rude, and to such a fine young gentlemammal?" "It's okay, Mrs. Maranza," Isaac says, putting a soothing paw on her shoulder. "It's a running joke that the four of us have going." "Oh," Mama says, the air going out of her like a balloon that's suddenly sprung a leak. "I see. And here I was thinking that you were being a speciesist pain in the tail, Theo, which is what surprised me." "No, Mama," I say, giving her the three-fingered salute that I've seen other mammals use when they're swearing that they've been honest. "I'm not."
So, I’ve watched RHOBH (Up to Season 6, got bored of it), All of NY, all of Potomac, all of Dallas, all of ATL and all of NJ, I’m currently watching OC for the first time, I legit skipped to Season 7 (I’m on 8 now) because OC the first 6 years were a snooze fest, I tried so hard to watch, I took advice to watch S3 when Tamra got in, boring, took advice to skip to S4 when Gretchen came in because they interacted more, boring. Then I took advice to watch S7 when Heather came in due to it being the first season in HD, and boy I was glad, more drama, more everything. But, I’m curious as to what you guys think about all of these shows cast? Here’s mine! I personally think Potomac is fine! It’s the best cast they’ve had. Each girl brings in good aspects (yes, even Robyn. We need at least one laid back girl or else it’d be a Real housewife of Vancouver repeat to where they all hate each other so much they have to cancel it lol) I think NY needs another revamp, tbh, the show did REALLY well without Bethany the first time, but idk if they’ll be able to pull it off again since all the power players who made it good have left. I think they need to revamp, we need to keep Ramona (she stirs the pot, good for ratings) keep Luann (She’s a jailbird, throws constant shade, good for ratings) keep Dorinda (she’s a g, is real, funny and just meshes well with the girls) and keep Sonja (she’s light, carefree and is iconic when she gets mad) they need to axe Tinsley, hire 3 NEW girls, we need a pop of color in NY, there is plenty of racial diversity to do so. I really don’t know if S12 will perform good without B. ATL, this season the cast is perfect! Shamari just stuck out like a sore thumb. I think this season will do good, we’ve got a good strong cast and a good 3 person “friend of housewives” (Tanya, Marlo & Yovanna) so all in all 9 women to stir up drama! NJ, I think it’s their best cast! Jennifer and Jackie were great additions, last season was a good refresh from what honestly was a dying franchise. They did good bringing in 2 fiery women. This season seems to be really good. I think they should leave well enough alone. Maybe next season they might need to bring in a 7th wife just to keep things interesting, but who knows. BH, they need a hugeeeeee freaking revamp, the entire cast is TIRED. Kyle brings nothing anymore but her over dramatic facial expressions, Dorit is actual trash, the whole cast is just not it. This is legit what they should do to keep hope on this actually dying show. They need to ax legit everyone, keep Rinna, bring Brandi & Kim back (Lisa might even come back if they did that) then they need 2-3 new wives with actual personality. We need more wives like Brandi & Kim over there, wives that don’t hold their tongues and will make things fun to watch. Dallas, honestly I think the cast is fine, I don’t really care for the new Kary. I prefer Cary D, IMO. But, but I think we need one more wife in the mix. Then the OC, can’t really say much because I’m only on S8, I’m not up to date.
INTRO: Kendra is PUMPED to be pumping out more goblins! She gestures emphatically like a cheerleader when announcing Blandisson's upcoming arrival in a talking head.
Jessa is also preparing for her crotch angel, but her approach involves a lot more wall smashing and power tool grabbing and way less giggling.
jEd2020! allows The Spurge to eat two ice cream sandwiches while he is 'babysitting'. Do you want him to get diabeetus jEd?! Because that is how you can get diabeetus!
Gringer states that she can sometimes feel pressured to be perfect As(a) new mom; another half-assed attempt to gain sympathy from her followers, and more likely, JimBoob and Meech, who she still craves approval from, no matter how many times you can see her shoulders in public.
Short clip of the Blandwalds at a doctor's office to investigate Henry and his alleged concerning behaviodeficiencies. (Amount of future snark material here remains to be seen.)
Gender Guessing Games are what pass for fun on exciting Saturdays in the TTH, but they are all homeschooled, so…
ACT ONE Kendra wears rubber gloves to handle the bacon she is preparing. She must keep an extra box in the bedroom if she has an aversion to touching raw meat. She states that she only had one pregnancy test left in her drawer, concrete evidence than being joyfully available means buying the 20 pack of tests from the store… a requirement by fundy law.
Now, my fellow snarkers, I have spent many an hour in an Arts and Crafts store. Chains, local, niche ones, all of them. BUT I have NEVER in my life come across peel off stickers to use for announcing a pregnancy. This is straight outa 2029, President Jonathan Taylor Thomas shit.
Long, blurry, zoomed in shot of Kendra's wedding ring while she puts the sticker on the bottom of Joe's Ice Cream Bowl, which apparently is a thing to have. It's actually a decent looking ring, to the surprise of us all.
"Sometimes I have these moments where I'm just like, Wow I'm really an adult, and I'm a mom, and it's just crazy because I still feel like I'm young." Now Say It For the People In The Back; KENDRA YOU ARE TALL CHILD, YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT!! You know so little about this world, you probably feel like a tourist when not in Arkan-bama-ippi.
She calls Joe at the car lot, interrupting his me-time with the big boy trucks. She wants him to leave early and he states that he could probably get Josiah to cover for him. Pretty sure you could ask Josiah to babysit a polar bear and he would jump at the chance to have an excuse to get away from his woman-shaped parasite. I'm sorry, woman-shaped Lizard. My sincerest apologies to the entire parasitic genus.
JB worms his way back for a talking head to rehash 14 Kids and Counting glory days. They had five children in a 900 square foot house, because they aRe tOtAlLy nOrMaL LiZaRds. Now that they have the Kingdom of Servitude built, I mean the Big House, I mean their family home, they now have 7k sq feet to ignore their children in.
Jessa is in nesting mode, something she gleefully explains to all us childfree heathens out living our best lives. She is allowing the older Lost Boys to take out a window and install a door to the backyard in preparation for Jana 2.0. Jason disagrees with jEd on how to cut into the wall, the first signs of infighting between the Losties and their resident King. In the background of them basking in the glow of their hard work, The Spurge and Henry are seen walking aimlessly around an area most likely littered with power tools, pieces of wood and other dangerous shit people use in carpentry.
ACT TWO When cookin Joe's dinner, Kendra puts in a decent amount of salt/seasonings, which leads me to believe that her home cooking already outpaces whatever Meech accomplished in her Cream Kitchen. Just in case you forget how much the Dugs like sour cucumbers, Joe has brought home the industrial size jar of it, hopefully to eat separately from the ice cream. It looks like plain vanilla ice cream, no flavors or syrups or toppings to be had. What else would we expect from one of the world's most boring couples? The Jabbies have been blissfully absent so far this episode, and I will take Giggles & Company over Greasy & Cheesy any damn day. Kendra has giggled more this entire episode than all the others this season, so for those of us who thought she was toning it down a bit were sadly mistaken.
Gringer joins a mom group who exercise together while their children are in a stroller. It's super boring. Even for this shit show spectacle they call reality tv.
ANOTHER JB AND MEECH TALKING HEAD. Like come on people, you had your own for show how many damn years and yet you refuse to let any one of your precious angels get more spotlight than you! You aren’t fooling anyone, those lizard costumes are well past their best by date.
Jessa declares that sexy time is relegated to only when the boys are being babysat. So…. anytime you feel like driving down the road and dumping them off on your former sister-daughters. We all know Bin Head is not making any decisions of when his Little Bin can come out and play. Bin hesitates while naming his Lost Boy Brother in Laws when talking to The Spurge, and somehow there is an Uncle Elijah? Is this another angel baby? There wasn’t any balloon for symbolism!!
ACT THREE Producer: Who’s your favorite uncle? The Spurge: uhmm……. Daddy. Cue jEd! and The Producer attempt to play off how accurate that statement could be in rural Arkan-bama-ippi. * A second TH clip aired a little later of them asking The Spurge again and he still said daddy was his favorite uncle.*
"It’s actually really funny to me, when Spurgeon gets confused. Sometimes he doesn’t know which uncle it is because there's so many of them" YEAH WE KNOW JESSA. We have a flow chart and wikipedia and are not 3 years old but we still have trouble keeping them straight. Jessa then states that jEd! is The Spurge's buddy, unclear if this has the same meaning it did for them at the TTH.
Henry is seeing an ENT doctor for speech delays. Jessa noticed around 18 months that he wasn’t on the same level of development as her other children at home. JimBoob and Meech Talking Head #3! They couldn’t understand why Josie was so different than their other children. Well maybe when you play the genetic lottery every chance you get there are bound to be some gomers in the mix.
JoKendra blabber on about the pitfalls of parenting , as if they are experts for successfully copulating twice. Henry is going to be seeing a speech therapist for the time being. The Spurge is caught eating an ice cream sandwich underneath his toy slide in the living room. I once hid behind a potted plant to scarf down mozz sticks on packer game day so I really feel for this kid's dedication. He then convinces jEd to let him Finish Eating the Sandwich after being caught with it! The plot thickens when jEd realizes that he had in fact ate TWO ice cream sandwiches. Joke's on him when The Spurge declares he has a poopy diaper. None of the men are capable of changing a diaper so they panic and call Jessa. "I can give you water but I am not about to change your diaper, that is nasty", says potential political candidate to his 3 year old nephew.
Bin got shit on by a bird. There's no joke, unless you count the cosmic one that is his life.
The Lost Boys complete the deck/door installation within the 48 hrs they were given to finish it. Unstained and unfinished cheap wood with nothing on it except a small rug does Not, in fact, look like a million dollars that jEd says it does.
Jailbird Jana shows up to help set up the Gender Reveal Party for Jess's five month old daughter. Everyone arrives to the party and they use old wives tales to determine what they think the gender will be. Joy and Abbie are sitting on their husbands laps, just in case we forgot they are married and can express human emotions now. Anna is seen in the larger shots of the whole group constantly with a sour puss expression on her face. Reality hurts, doesn’t it Mrs. Pest. Jessa reveals that she will not be revealing the gender until it hatches, to the dismay of Duggars everywhere who spent an hour playing a ridiculous game for their tv show. She then states in a totally organic and natural way that if anyone has an announcement, the floor is theirs. Jokendra then announce the impending arrival of Renesmee to everyone and wild cheers ensue.
This is my first one. Might not be the right place, correct me where to go. I was with this girl for a long time, started dating in 2010, she abrupltly left me in 2016. We met her freshman year and my first senior year (victory lap). We went to a very specific school where we stuidied different aspects of the same thing. While inwas away at work (part of what we were trained for) she called me 3 days before Christmas and ended it. To this day i dont know why. Last i heard she is stuck in her bumfuck town and has pushed away everyone. She is with a dbag with jailbird connections and a bunch of other things, she soooo downgraded. Honestly i feel bad for her, so last week after being a few places close to my heart that i shared with her over the years, i reached out to her. Not any romantic way, but you were a major part of my life for a long time how are you kind of way. She shut me down. I was shopping for a ring, etc. This sent me into a really bad downward spiral where now i am just coming out of it this year. My life is great now, 4 years later Ive had a string of relationships that just didnt work. Am I broken? How do i shake this nagging feeling of her in my brain. I feel like I cant shake her, i miss what we had any ideas how to get her off my mind?
2019.09.18 05:15 Lelouch_19EASIEST WAY TO GET ALL 30 RIBBONS
LAST UPDATED: 01/17/2020 I wrote down some tricks that I've used to get some ribbons & thought I would share it with you all. Enjoy! Academic: Be born with a smarts of around 80%. Study hard every year, go to college, & go to grad school. Get a job & keep aging up. Make sure not to get a net worth of $1 million or over. Addict: Refer to this post. Cat Lady: Be a female, don't get into any romantic relationships, & don't hook up with anyone. Get a 1 b1 ba apartment & have 3 cats (that's the max you can have. If you get a bigger property, you can have 4 cats). Keep your relationship bar with each cat full. Do not pursue any other ribbon. Cunning: have at least $100,000. Age up until you're 65, get arrested, escape from jail, & have a sex-change operation. Deadly: Kill at least 5 people. If you get caught, DO NOT CONTINUE!! Close the app & restart it. Family Guy: Be a male. Get married & have a couple kids, then spend time with your family each year or if the relationship bars are not completely full. Famous: Keep your looks at about 90%. Become a porn star or an actor, & gain 1 million followers on social media by getting social media early & posting frequently. Do not let your looks drop below 80% or you'll risk losing your job. Fertile: Have at least 4 children. Don't pursue any other ribbons. Edit: thanks to u/seercloak30005 & u/gachasfx for the correction: you can be either male or female to get this ribbon. Geriatric: Live up to at least 120. Keep your happiness & health at 100% by spending time with family, going on vacation, going to the gym, meditating, going to the library, etc. Globetrotter: Go on vacation or multiple vacations every year. Hero: if a pop-up comes up, select "try to intervene" & hopefully save the person. Edit: saving a person from choking also gets you this ribbon. High Roller: get a lifetime casino earnings of $1 million or over. Go to the casino, & if your cards at up to 15 or under, press "hit me" until you have 16 or over. If you have 16 or over, press "I'll stand." If you lose, DO NOT CONTINUE! Close out of the game & restart the app.Edit: casino glitch no longer works. Houdini: Refer to this post. Jailbird: go in and out of jail multiple times. Lazy: age up. Don't get a job or do anything. Close and restart the game when a popup appears and there is no option to do nothing. Loaded: get a net worth of $50 million or over. Do this by winning the lottery when it's over $50 million. Keep buying tickets until you win. Edit: another way to get this ribbon is to major in music at university, become an apprentice music composer, work hard every year, & have a good relationship with your supervisor. You will eventually be promoted to music composer with a high salary. Lustful: sleep with at least once person per year. Don't enter any romantic relationships. Mediocre: same thing as lazy except get a job. Model Bitizen: Be born to a relatively small family. Keep your relationship bar with your family full with compliments, giving money, & spending time with them. DO NOT USE CONVERSATION WITH ANYONE!! Always apologize after an argument. Call the police if a situation occurs. Study hard & get a job. You can get married & have a couple kids, but keep your relationship bar with your spouse & kids full. Do not go clubbing, go to the casino, hook up with anyone, or accept alcohol & drugs. When you retire, sell your house & give money to your family each year. Start with giving money to your spouse first. Once your spouse dies, give money to the rest of the family. Mooch: ask your family (parents, siblings, spouse, kids, nieces/nephews, grandchildren) for money each year. Rich: get a net worth of at least $1 million or over. Do this by getting a good job. Rowdy: go clubbing a lot. Scandalous: assault people when you have the option to. Stupid: be born with low smarts & keep your smarts 10% or under. Drop out of high school & don't get married. If your smarts rise up, change your sexuality to gay, date someone, & keep pressing the "baby" option. Make dumb decisions in life when pop ups come up. Edit: Baby option does not work anymore. One way to automatically get this ribbon is to die of an overdose. Successful: Do well in school, get a good job, have a nice house & car, maybe a couple kids, but don't have a net worth of over $1 million. Essentially, try to live a perfect life. Teammate: be born in Tuscon or Miami. Have good smarts. Study hard, major in computer science, & get a job as an app developer. Edit: it's possible to become a famous app developer which will get you the famous ribbon instead. To prevent this, DO NOT have social media. Thief: age up until you get diagnosed with a fatal disease (Ebola, cancer, etc). Then rob as many houses as you can, steal a couple cars, & pickpocket a few people. Age up & you should be dead with the thief ribbon. Unlucky: your character dies early in life. This is random. Wasteful: at age 0, surrender your life. Wicked: have unsafe sex & contract a STD, then spread the STD to as many people as possible. You can also cheat on your partner multiple times.
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